listening to - karma police.citizen cope on easy dread all-stars cd

i am seriously craving chili right now. i don't know why really. i found a recipe on vegweb (big ups to vegweb!!)that i think i'm going to try tonite.

i had such a great time at the fair. i instantly bonded with anutha name jacquie (she spells her name differently from mine) who spins, knits, and dyes. she can basically teach me everything i need to learn to start my little cottage industry. i bought a drop spindle from her 11 yo daughter kaitlin. kaitlin gave me a quick spinning lesson and i was hooked. i forgot to bring a knitting project to the fair so i ended up buying some roving from anutha vendor and i spun the whole weekend. tonite, jacquie is going to give me a lesson on my wheel. I AM SO EXCITED! i will take pictures tonite of my spindle and spinning works and all the other goodies i got.

take time to breathe. AND make sure you enjoy the day!
blessings.

booth5

booth5
Originally uploaded by butta.fly

i survived anutha forest fair. this year was definitely a success!! i'm so happy/pleased/excited.

i have to learn how to shift gears and go back into the mama/housekeeping mode. that's funny to me...trying to balance work with raising a family and keeping house.

anyway, i'm glad to be home and in my bed (i camped out while in girdwood).

before i forget: listening to-dublab.com podcast .frosty's bollywood blast

listening to: stones throw podcast.j-rocc's madlib remixes

there are two more days until i make the drive the girdwood and set up my booth. i'm very excited and can't wait to spend some time in the woods.

this weekend was spent getting to know my sewing machine. i didn't get much sewing done, but i did figure out how to oil the maching and clean the feeder dogs. i'm going to be a sewing fool very, very soon.

i really want to set up a sewing area in a corner of my living room. so i'm on a mission to find a sewing table. at the moment, i sew standing up. why? because my dining room table is too high and sitting on a couple of phone books isn't good for my back. standing isn't good for my back either, but it is the better alternative.

so for you sewers out there, are sewing tables generally expensive? is there another alternative? can i make my own?

i'm currently knitting another cable beanie. this one is going to babygirl.

happy monday. peace.

it was a beautious day.

21
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

thinking about my next move.

listening to: fugee-la (sly & robbie rmx).the fugees

every morning i wake up to my fugees cd playing. the funny thing is, i've been having crazy dreams w/ lauryn, wyclef, and even john forte in them. this morning, john was in my dream spittin his lyrics to me. i always wake up laughing.

anyhoo...hayfever has been kickin my ass this summer. all i want to do is breathe with no restriction and have eyes that aren't itchy. i look so crazy in the morning, but i've been having the best sleep ever. i found some natural remedies online that's supposed to help relieve the discomfort of it all. so far, so good. remedies include drinking chamomile and/or dandelion root tea (dandelion root tea cleans the liver), eating lots of dark leafy greens, getting lots of vitamin c and beta-carotene, don't consume sugar/dairy (which has been a little difficult). i've been a carrot juice making fool this past week. i've also been using a neti pot to cleanse my sinuses. it really works and i always feel so much better after using it.

speaking of juice...i am in love with my new jucier. i made my first green juice yesterday. it was made with kale, celery, and my one lonely apple. i had a little this morn and it wasn't bad. i know i will have to upgrade my juicer soon, because i can easily see me wearing it out before too long (making carrot juice stresses out the motor).

i feel empowered.

i'm selling my goods at the forest fair next weekend. i'll be spending four days in the woods with the mosquitoes, mud, and cottonwood (hay fever will be in overdrive!). i'm not much into camping, but i always have such a good time when i go to girdwood.

the sun is shining, the weather is awesome, AND it's friday!!! have a blessed day y'all.

love.

listening to: back to black.amy winehouse

afghan
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this is a blanket i started when i first moved into my current apartment (almost 3 yrs ago). i figured i deserved a house warming present and an afghan (since i've always given my afghans away and never kept one for myself). anyway, it's looking really great. it's all made from my little bits of scrap yarn i've had leftover. i'm coming close to finishing (making it queen size). it should be done right in time for winter.

listening to: the 6th sense.common ft. bilal

my little girl turned 4 yesterday. 4. she's been waiting to turn 4 all month. ppl would ask, "adara, when's your birthday?" "JUNE!". when she found out it was june, she got really excited and was like, "mom it's my birthday?!" i'd disappoint her time and time again when i'd tell her "not yet."

i bought her a cake with a princess on it (and her frog prince i guess). i caught her looking at it yesterday and she said, "mom, you're a good mom. thank you for buying my cake."

i'm very thankful to have her in my life. she's full of light and love. she's my beautiful joy.

jocelyn_2

jocelyn_2
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

she's 14 now. i can't believe it.

14

14
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

watch out now.

listening: easy dread compilation

i'm having one of those days. the sun is shining and all i wanna do is get in my mumu and walk around my backyard barefoot. i'm trying my hand and gardening. container gardening to be exact. i didn't think about how expensive it'd be to buy flowers. so i started some from seeds. the first go 'round my herbs got roasted in the sun. then i planted some flowers and they started sprouting. my daddy knocked that pot over when he was cutting the grass. they seem to be doing okay, but we'll see.

i'm in this crazy nesting phase. doing my best to finally add some of my personality to my apartment. i've been living in this place almost three years and just started to feel at home there. i started with my bedroom by hanging up a tapestry and added some plants (they were moved from downstairs because they weren't getting enuff light). it's amazing how plants change the energy in a room. my room feels so different. more cozy and inviting. thiniking about making a duvet cover and pillow shams (using patterns from Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing)

new loves:

my new juicer
being meat free (recently got back on the wagon)br> experimenting with new veggie recipes (vegweb rocks)
feeling more comfy in my skin
etsy.com

listening to: miss you.bjork

i'm definitely feeling god's energy these days. everywhere i look i'm grateful for the opportunity to look upon his creation.

summer here has had a few false starts. the other day it was 75 degrees. my body was in shock from the heat (i hate being in a hot house), but i've been craving the high temps ever since. stop teasing me mother nature!

going to work is hard. i definitely need to find another career that will feed my soul. today's a day i wish i had my notebook.

i'm currently wishing i could spend the whole summer in d.c. i miss my friends.

new loves:
my salad spinner
roasted eggplant
bjork (i've been sleepin', i know)
black nail polish

may your day be filled with smiles.
love.

listening to: baby i'm a star.prince

hellloooo. i'm still alive. since my last post, i've managed to work on(and damn near complete) my yarn scrap afghan, and i've finished two 9 patch washcloths(scroll down a bit).

everything is blossoming. my tulips look fabulous. and lil miss is coming up on her fourth birthday. i gotta get some pictures on this mug.

happy thurday.

listening to: some unholy war.amy winehouse

i'm blocked...again! there are several things going on in my life at the moment where i'm just exhausted emotionally and mentally. i can't help but think that as an artist i should be able to create regardless of what state i'm in. time and time again that idea has been proved wrong. i'll get thru this, but until then i guess i'm chillin.

cookie a. is the shit!

listening to: knock 'em out.lily allen

can you believe how fast the months are flying by?! i can't. every year the months fly by and i always seem to forget that i don't care for the month of march. why? because this town is still covered in snow and ice and it's usually hella cold. it used to drive me crazy when i was younger to watch mtv's spring break and see all the kids dancing on a beach, in their swimsuits.

one thing i am loving though is all the extra sunlight we've been getting. i love the sun!! i seem to forget that too.

there's two weeks until my event. can i just say that i'm a little stressed? when i do these events, i always wonder if i have enough merchandise and if ppl will like my stuff. it always turns out okay in the end though. i gotta chill out!

since it's been so cold lately, i made a pot of soup. it turned out great. i think i'm going to be making soups a lot more.

i have finished a pair of socks that's been sitting for 3 years. i am now working on the broadripple socks from knitty.

new hat

bluecable
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

another to add to the pile. i'm beginning to like how my knitted hats look.

listening: the all golden fronts.nobody

so, the days are getting longer. that just means that we are blessed with more and more sunlight. i recently realized that the sun plays a huge part on my state of mind. i love the sun. i love seeing the sunlight bounce off of the white walls in my bedroom. i love waking up to the sun. soon the snow will melt and new life will spring forth. i can't wait!!!

my hands are jacked up. i knit one hat yesterday and i woke up to puffy hands and tired arms. i'm out of practice. i really didn't knit or crochet much in '06. so now my hands need reconditioning.

i'm off today and plan on doing some cleaning and of course...some knitting. i gotta make the most of my day.

blessings.

listening: there is a way.mos def

hats Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i've been busily working on building my inventory for an event that's coming up at the end of march. i'm really excited about it.

i've already burned myself out once trying to meet my weekly "quotas". i gotta learn how to pace myself during this process.

the days are getting longer and that makes me so happy.

fitted_knits

fitted_knits
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i was so excited to get stefanie's book in the mail. i love this book! this book has me wanting to knit again ( i haven't knit any garments in quite some time).

some days
i miss your face
& your smile
& your smell

listening: turiyah and ramakrishna.alice coltrane (r.i.p.)

this month's focus has been about managing my time better. still working on developing morning and evening routines...feels like a neverending process.

i'm creating on a regular basis now. that hasn't happened since before i became pregnant with my little one. it feels good and i'm striving to achieve goals for myself. i'm going to be selling my wears at an event in march. it's been a while since i've sold anything or even thought about starting my business again. i've got a lot of things planned for this year. it's only the beginning.

shout out to all my friends who are going after their dreams. your hard work inspires and motivates.

listening: i need love.robin thicke

that song is so...ummm. it's nice.

the day has been somewhat productive. i got up early and saw my chiropractor (yes! napoleon dynamite stylee) then had lunch with a friend (if ya ever in anchorage, check out club paris. good eats man). i came home and cleaned my kitchen. i'm feeling the urge to cook a little something, but i'm not sure what.

just put the little one to bed and man it was not easy. she's at a stage i'm so not feeling...whining and crying for every. little. thing. hopefully, she'll sleep peacefully. that's something i pray for every nite.

i think i'm going to watch a flick or two and give myself a pedicure. i'm just gonna lounge (and do some knitting in meantime) and let robin sing to me some more.

must. knit. more. socks.

random thoughts

-i need to see my chiropractor...like yesterday. i've been stretching and doing yoga hoping the knot in my back will work its way out. so far it's not happening.

-2006. what a blur. i do know that i ended the year a different person. i've learned a lot about my self.

-2007 is all about getting my "sexy" on. re.discovering my woman self is in full effect. i'm having fun playing with my wardrobe. i might even flirt a little in the process. i really don't know how to talk to men. i can be a real goof sometimes.

- i need to connect more with people.

- i also need to take more time to update this blog on a regular basis.

- chivalry is not dead.

happy new year!

scarf3, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this is another danica scarf. i made one for my daddy last christmas and have finally made one for myself. the colors in it make me happy.



i've been doing a lot of reflecting and overall 2006 was a decent year. i'm going to make 2007 even better and use the lessons i've learned over the last 12 months to get me through.



hope your new year got off to a great start.
peace.

it's currently -10 degrees outside.

i'm really not interested in going outside, but i'm on a mission to find a coat. i realized after buying a dress for my sister's wedding, that finding the perfect fit takes time. i'm learning not to get discouraged even though it frustrates the hell of me.

i hope your thanksgiving was great!

mine was. i spent time with my fam and then visited a friend. i am very thankful for my friends and family. they've come through for me so much this year.

anyway, that's all i wanted to say. i've got a piece of my mama's sweet potato pie waiting for me.

peace.

single digit temps suck. it's been so cold and all i can think about in the evenings is getting home and staying put. add the shorter days and i'm a lazy bum. i've been watching a lot of tv. why does tyra's show bug me so much? i've got a scarf to finish and i'm thinking about starting stefanie's bulky cabled sweater. i'm going back to dc next month and want a couple of sweaters to wear.

not a lot is going on otherwise. i may have some pictures to post soon. until then...blessings.

pre_pillows

pre_pillows, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

currently working on putting together a style tray for my home decorating project. i'm starting in my living room and want really bold, colorful pillows for my burgundy couch. this pillow caught my attention, but it's way out of my price range. i figure i should try and make them myself, joann's and found this lovely print. let me tell you, i could have spent the whole evening in their home decor department. there's a lot of fabulousness waiting to go home with me.

have you ever watched snow fall? it's so peaceful and serene. we got our first snow fall (about an inch) last thursday and i woke up to a few more inches this morning. i've spent this year really paying attention to what each season brings. i'm appreciating this place more and more.

slowly coming up with a plan to decorate my home. i'm not allowed to paint, so i'm going to add some spice to my space by using color. i'm itching to spend some cash, but i have to be patient (and responsible!) and work on it slowly.

anyway, not much has been going on. i've just been focusing on cycles, rituals, and routines. getting organized (which seems to be a never ending process).

love.

feeling: new york magazine's "ask a shop clerk" and the "look book".

i hate perfume-i would really love to have this guy make a scent for me. i found his site via the 'ask a shop clerk' column in ny mag. i spent an hour just reading the faq's. i love how his mind works. he's a true artist indeed.

thinking: my introduction to allure magazine while in highschool. i always loved reading the editor's beauty picks. i also dreamed of using kiehl's products (kiehl's always seemed to be mentioned in there somewhere). i still do.

i want flawless skin.

reading: Pour Your Heart into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time-a friend recommended it to me for business building tips, but it's really got me interested in exploring the world of coffee and coffee drinking.

making: toddler mitts. i'm using every bit of my stash and i love it.
ribbed stole-i wanted to have this done for the saul william's show on the 13th, but i seemed to have misplaced a skein of lamb's pride. don't you hate when stuff just disappears? i'm sure it will pop up when i stop looking for it.

i'm a sucka for: lip balm. my newest fave is melaleuca's sun shades lip balm in vanilla bean. it's got a great smell, it gives your lips a nice, tingly feeling (if you're into that sort of thing), and it actually moisturizes your lips.

license plate wisdom for today...UZTH4C

it's that time of year again. the leaves are changing and the temps are dropping. my hair is so dry right now, that i feel like nothing can save it. i really need to get my hands on a good hot oil treatment.

taking time out to give thanks. i'm amazed at how at peace i feel. there's still a lot of stress in my life, but i feel light...not worried. always in transition...

love.

i don't know what i'd do without music. good, beat knockin, make your shoulders bounce in your ride, kind of music. thank you keyote for blessing me with your works.

i just bought sew u, a new book from built by wendy designer wendy mullin. i love it. so far, the instructions are easy to understand and she includes a lot of helpful tips AND three of her simplicity patterns. i have spent the week actively getting to know my sewing machine. i'm going to clean it up and oil it this weekend (i've had my machine 3 years and have never done that).

fall is in the air. i'm in the process of finishing all of my unfinished projects (4 baskets worth). it's going slower than i'd like, but i'm just happy to be working on them.

i'm off to eat some dinner. love.

fall is in full effect. i've been busily making socks for lil miss. she started preschool and is doing excellent. we also tackled potty training. i don't think i ever want to go thru that again. wow.

anyway, i've been busy decluttering my house. i always try and declutter, but get overwhelmed in the middle of it. so, in the end i never finish. but i've got a system now and it's working!

been thinking about a lot of things...the plight of the single mama, love, relationships, who i am, etc. life is...blessed.

the dress

Jackie As Marilyn2, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i found this dress after trying on 30. it took me four days, but i found it.

i felt absolutely glamorous and the wedding was wonderful. it was truly a magical day.

17 days 'til my sister's wedding.

what the hell do you wear to weddings anyway? am i supposed to get extra dressed up, or can i just be casual with a dressy flare?

i like this, but i doubt i could get into it. i'm stressing man.

my eyes are tired.

it's already august. where has the summer gone? i've been reflecting on my summer and honestly, it's been lackluster and downright sad.

i've got this feeling inside of me. like i'm about to explode. ya ever have that feeling where you want something so badly, that you feel like you'll burst if it doesn't happen? that's how i feel, but i just don't know how to make that feeling manifest itself.

friday night i was cleaning out my closet and found over a 100 hats that i've made over the last few years. i also found two bags of unfinished projects that need to be put in my shop. i started an afghan with all of my scraps about a year ago. it was suppose to be a housewarming gift to myself for getting the apartment i'm currently living in. i never came close to finishing it and just threw it in a box. so i rediscovered that during my cleaning spree too. i've been working on it all weekend and it's been a nice change of pace. i just crochet until the yarn is gone and then i change colors/textures. some rows have 3-4 colors in them. working on it has been freeing...a brain dump even.

have a blessed monday. peace.

downward dog is my friend. it's been a while since i've done yoga and last night i decided to try some poses from the yoga journal. back pain has plagued me for years (the last couple of years being the worst). exercising has helped some, but i've read how yoga can alleve the pain altogether. anyway, downward dog stretches the hamstrings and calves. i realized last night that i need to get it together because my hamstrings and calves were so tight. no wonder my back is bothering me so much right now! have a blessed moon day.

time. it's so crucial to me right now. i'm currently working on some things to put in my shop. i'm starting to feel a little stressed because making the deadline is really imprtant to me. i would like to have the site up in september. one thing that's always plagued me was always feeling like i never have enough time to get things done. balance is key and i have yet to find that balance.

i recently bought jenny hart's stitch-it kit. embroidery is something i've been wanting to learn for a long time now. i've been actively working on a pattern for a couple of days now and it's been a long, painstaking process. i think i'm doing okay though.

i also bought the mason-dixon knitting book. i really like the book because it exhibits family and community. plus, i never thought in a million years i'd be excited to knit dishcloths. i'm trying to conserve my use of paper towels so the dishcloths will come in handy.

anyway, i'm doing my best to stay busy and keep a smile on my face. have a great weekend.

minnie ripperton's voice is sooooo sweet. it's a like a breath of fresh air.

my tummy's rumbling. why is it that if i eat breakfast before i go to work, i'm starvin' like marvin two hours later? that's what's going on now. i've been working on my morning routine this week...get up on time, do my morning pages, make breakfast, pack my lunch (i'm bringing lunch to work too), get me and the little one dressed, and head off to work. so far, so good.

i took lil miss to the forest fair and we had a great time. i ran into some vendors i had met last year that i was happy to see. one couple in particular is living their life the exact same way i've envisioned in my head. one thing i have to be better about is making contacts and keeping in touch with them. sharon (the wife) saw me and right away she was telling me how much she thought of me over the last year. thing is, i had been thinking of her as well. i believe ppl are brought into our lives for a reason, so i'll do my best to keep in touch with her this time around.

my sister is getting married next month. it's been hella stressful for everyone and i'm looking forward to the big day. the wedding will be at the space needle in seattle. i've been slacking on my exercise and diet routine (weight loss has plateaued sp?) so i'm back in the gym. my goal is to lose 10 lbs. before the big day. 2 lbs. a week...i can do that.

more later. bless.

all i can think about are cardigans, owning some fabulous furniture, and what i'm wearing this winter.

ribbed stole

ribbed stole, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this is how much i've done on the ribbed stole so far. i was getting a little discouraged at first because knitting 208 sts takes forever. it took me 5 hours to get 2 1/2 inches. anyway, i'm cruising along now and get to change to the next color (need one more inch- woohoo!).

it doesn't pay to oversleep in the mornings. i was 15 minutes late to an appointment and just a few minutes ago a coworker told me i was wearing two different earrings. one moonstone, the other lapis. lol. this is the second time i've done this. oh well, maybe i needed the energies of both today.

right now i'm doing my best to get my house organized. i'm in the middle of a major deep cleaning. apartment therapy is helping me do it.

the forest fair is this weekend and i'm going. this will be the first year that i've gone as a spectator. i decided in march that i would not have a booth this year. it was a hard decision to make, but once i did a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders. selling wares and managing a booth is hard work. a sista just wants to relax. anyway, i'm bringing lil miss and the trip will be a mini getaway. i can't wait to breathe the mountain air and see some old friends.

currently in love with the new danger. the block party has contributed to my current mos def marathon. i want to see and hear all things by this man.

i'm chuggin along on the ribbed stole. also working on some new hat designs. b-flywears is back in effect. i'm planning on a site relaunch in september. life is good.

blessings.

regia socks

regia socks, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

these are the socks going to cold bay, ak. i like them a lot. it's almost too hard to part with them.

adara's socks

adara's socks, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

adara's third bday

adara's third bday, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i should be sleeping, but i'm watching block party again and knitting. i can't stop until i have my foundation rows finished. what am i working on? the loop-d-loop ribbed stole.

i was checking out the craftster forum and found a thread with finished projects from teva durham's book. i have this book and love almost everything in it, but i realized i have a little problem. i never have the guts to try the more challenging knitting patterns. looking at the finished objects on craftster inspired me to give some of the patterns a try. i'm starting with the stole first because it's the only pattern in the book i have the right yarn for.

i guess i should go to bed. i bought a card reader for my camera, but my memory card doesn't fit. *sigh* back to the store i go. after i get some rest of course.

currently trying carrot juice. i'm not sure how i feel about it yet.

i fell off of my vegetarian diet for a minute, but i'm back on. planning to start the master cleanse aka lemonade diet next week. i'm going to go the full 10 days this time.

my herbs are growing beautifully, but i can't remember which herb is in the pots. dill is the only one i can identify. pictures soon (hopefully tonite!).

enjoy your day. peace.

[edit] carrot juice is alright with me. yum! [/edit]

i am dying to have some fun. like crazy insane can't stop smiling and laughing 'til my stomach hurts fun.

i bought dave chappelle's block party yesterday and have watched it three times since last evening. jill scott's performance brought me to tears...all three times. she's an amazing woman. i loved her performance of 'you got me' with erykah too. when i get home i'll watch it again!

love love.

since my last post i have recovered from the cold i had, but now i'm dealing with allergies. lil miss has gotten some kind of stomach virus and has been vomitting for two days. it's been fun in the edwards household. i've managed to clean up my house a little and knit a pair of socks (for the little one). i'm hoping she gets betta before tomorrow. it's her birthday and i would love for her to be able to eat some birthday cake. she's been talking about it all week.

my herbs are growing nicely in their pots. it's been rainy and a bit cold lately, but they're striving. i will eventually plant some flowers in the front of my house.

i've been finding a lot of sewing blogs lately. i am so inspired. i don't remember if i ever mentioned it here, but i've been wanting to sew so i bought sew easy. i completed the pillow project and was really pleased with how it came out. it took me five hours and i was stressed out during that time, but i'm thankful because now i know how my machine works. next time it won't take so long. i'm ready to make clothes for me and the little one now. the next thing i'm making is headbands. my locks are growing a lot and i can never find a scarf or headband when i need one.

i'm hoping to have some pictures posted soon (been having problems with my camera). blessings.

today is a good day. i realized every day is a good day. why? because i have life, my children and family are healthy (my daddy just had his 69th bday on sunday), and i have everything i need. that's right. my life is full of abundance and i've been too busy feeling sorry for myself to see it. i see it now.

currently nursing a cold. i found a grocery store in town that sells lemons for 69 cents. that may sound like a lot, but i've been paying 99 cents for years now. ginger root tea with raw honey and lemon has healed my throat (i almost couldn't speak yesterday). i'm taking loads of vitamin c too.

blessings.

last nite, i planted more seeds...parsley, cilantro, and dill. i know what i did wrong before. these babies will not die this time.

and while planting those seeds, i realized i really enjoy planting and playing in the earth.

more later.

the sun is shining...

...and the weather has been sweet. however, my weekend was hard emotionally. yesterday was really bad and i spent half of the day crying. my friends and i have been planning a double baby shower for a couple of our girls and it was supposed to be at my house (today), but i just wasn't up to having a bunch of folks in my house. after my meltdown, they all tried making me feel betta.

so that afternoon i met my girl neisha and we went to the saturday market. a lot folks bring their dogs to the market. so lil miss had a ball pointing every single one out. she had fun feeding her face too. i have to say that spending time in the sun and smiling at my child's sense of wonder made me feel a lot betta. i hooked up with my other friends later on that nite and ate the best meal. it's always nice to see my girls. everyone is so busy nowadays, so it's easy for me to feel disconnected and isolated. i've been trying not to isolate myself, but at the moment i kinda feel it's necessary. i just wanna be happy...feel good about me. ya know?

since i had a babyshower to go to, i had no gifts to give. so at 11pm last nite, i thought i could whip up some baby socks. man, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!! sure, i got a pair done in 3 hours, but after 1am my brain shut down. i always get too ambitious when it comes to gifting folks with handmade items. i never give myself enough time to make it and when i start i think i can do a hell of a lot more with the time i have (why did i think i could whip up 4 pairs of socks by 1am?) so i went to the shower with no gift. i have plenty of time now to get the gifts finished. both kids are due next month. i won't procrastinate any longer.

i'm currently on a mission to use up every skein of sock yarn i have. i think i have enough to make at least 20 pairs of socks. the socks i was working on last nite was made from fortissima colori socka color #2406. this yarn is fabulous! i found it to be really soft and easy on my fingers. i gotta have a pair of socks made from this yarn.

anyway, i'm trying hard to limit the time i spend on the internet so i can focus on house work (yuck!) and creating (which still isn't happening). it's slowly coming together. i hope everyone's weekend was filled with smiles and laughter.

more later.

dance of the infidel is beautiful.

witnessed

i overheard lil miss having a conversation with another girl last nite. it amazes me to see how much she's learned since being born. she will be turning three next month. i decided to have a party for her and all she can talk about is eating her birhtday cake. i'm grateful to have her as apart of our family. can i get her potty trained? that's a whole 'nutha blog post.

i'm currently on a mission to get rid of all the clutter in my house. i am also cleaning (like scrubbing floors type of clean) and reorganizing every closet and drawer. i've got a zillion magazines that i need to get rid of. what should i do with them? i thought about taking pictures i like and decoupaging a box or two. i don't know. i'm taking suggestions.

i know this blog has been lacking pictures, but i have been having problems with my camera lately. i'm not able to transfer pictures to my computer for some reason.

anyway i've come to the conclusion that i will have to get another job so i can get a handle on my debt. it's something i've been avoiding for a long time, but now it's a make or break situation now.

affirmation for today: i've got the skills to pay the bills!!

love. light.

maaaaaannnn!

i got pulled over this morning by the finest piece of tall chocolate i have seen in a long while.

the whole situation was funny to me...after i dropped lil miss off at the sitter's, i was cruisin through the neighborhood feeling GOOD. the sun was shining, it was already 60 degrees (this was 8am), and i was looking and feeling really cute. sizzla was blasting in the ride and i was groovin'........and going about 60 mph on a 30 mph street. it wasn't intentional. i just have a lead foot sometimes when i'm driving (i need a freeway or two in my life-or maybe i should get into race car driving). while i'm groovin', i see the unmarked police car chillin on the side of the road. man, me and dude were looking right at each other (with our sunglasses on). as i got closer to him i was like "oh snap!" "he's going to pull me over." sho' nuff he did. he didn't even pull out of his spot right away. he just flashed his lights and that was that. all i could do was laugh. i knew i was speeding (not that much though, honestly). when he came to my window i had my license and registration ready. i greeted him with one of my big smiles and said, "good morning".

he was really nice (those lips...my goodness those lips!). he probably thought i was the biggest goof. i'm thankful because he gave me a warning on the speed. however, he didn't let me off completely because didn't have my insurance card handy (i know i have because i saw it in my purse the other day). so i did get a ticket for that. $110 is sooooo much better than $230, ya think? anyway, i thanked him and slooooooowly drove off.

my day was great after that. how was yours?

since i'm surrounding my self with positivity, that means my thoughts and words must be positive as well.

it's hard. i'm struggling right now.

using affirmations too. today it's: i am making my life beautiful!


blessings.

i have decided to take a hiatus from tv this summer. there's just too much junk being aired. and since i've been in a creative slump and feeling a bit depressed, i figured taking a break from tv would help. plus, i'm surrounding myself with positivity....things that will fill me emotionally and spiritually. i've noticed my attitude has done a 180 since spending the weekend in the sun. it's been in the 70s and this sista is loving every minute of it.

currently reading maya angelou's autobiography (all four books). she's such an amazing woman. i'm inspired by her.

also reading the artist's way. i'm working on week 1 and i already want to close the book and never look at it again. one of the questions i'm working on is:
time travel: list three old enemies of your creative self-worth. please be as specific as possible. Your historic monsters are the building blocks of your core negative beliefs....

needless to say, i've been a little stuck.

my socks are coming along nicely. i've already chosen the person i'm giving them too. i'll make sure to take pictures of them before they head off to cold bay, alaska.

have you listened to gnarls barkley yet?

blessings.

appreciative

thank god for the sun. i'm at my parents' house watching lil miss help my dad plant flowers. i'm headed to the patio to sit on the glider and knit my sock in the sun.

it's a good day.

our deepest fear

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. we ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of god. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we were born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-marianne williamson (a return to love 1992)


i gotta read this book.

carl jung says...

"art is innate in the artist, like an instinct that seizes and makes a tool out of the human being. the thing in the final analysis that wills something in him is not he, the personal man, but the aim of the art."

this man's name has been popping up a lot in the last couple of weeks. the latest was in a magazine. think i need to research him and see what he's about.

i started knitting a sock today. i'm hoping this will trigger any ounce of creativity i have left in my body.

i have been wanting to post something, but so much has been going on in my personal life that i haven't been able to think straight.

i just know that i'm tired of being tired. getting up in the morning is such a chore. i would rather stay within the comfort of my bed, than to go out into the world. i'm fighting that feeling though. i'm doing my best not to become a hermit.

creatively, i'm stuck. i want so badly to get my business of the ground again, but i am not inspired to make anything. maybe i'm done and b-flywears is a thing of the past. and maybe this is a cue for me to try something different. i don't know.

i have been trying my hand at gardening. i'm growing some herbs and various flowers the kids picked out. and i'm reading too...a lot.

i gotta find some sort of peace. clarity. i'm so not focused right now and it's killing me.

oh i forgot to mention...through all of the mess, i have been going to the gym faithfully. i've lost 8 lbs. so far and my arms are getting toned (biceps baby!). it's been slow moving, but i am noticing a difference in my body.

more later...

lord, give me strength.

Easter 2006

Easter 2006, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

got gmail?

i have some gmail invites available...more than i know what to do with actually. if ya interested give me your e.mail addy and i'll send you one.

y'all i am on a mission to lose 75lbs. yep, ya read correctly...75lbs. when i tell ppl that, all i hear is "that's a lot" or "are you sure that's not too much?" well, it took me 8 years to put on all of this weight, so it's time to get rid of it. my health is on the line and i'm tired of looking at a closet full of clothes that don't fit (really cute clothes!). i re-joined the gym yesterday...got my sweat on today. it's most definitely on!!

babygirl is turning 13 on sunday. it's trippin me out man. lil miss is talking a mile a minute. she brings smiles to our face everyday.

check out twinkie chan. her crocheted scarves are bananas (lol!).

right now, it's all about:
my cypress hair oil
madvillian!
lil miss singing "orange moon"
downward facing dog
craisins
think and grow rich
warmer days
SUN!

i have spent the last five days in the middle of nowhere, amongst the deer, squirrels, cardinals, woodpeckers, and rabbits. breathing west virginian air did a sista good. my mind is clear and i feel at peace. lots of things have been going on in my life since my last post. the universe is basically hitting me over the head with a cast iron skillet and i'm finally ready to handle business and do what's best for me. this might sound vague, but just know i am well.

a day downtown

downtown5, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this picture was taken in downtown anchorage at town square. a friend of mine was visiting from new york and we thought it'd be cool to take our girls to see the ice sculptures. we got there and was disappointed because due to unseasonably warm weather, the sculptures had begun to melt and all of the snow on the walking paths had turned to ice. it wasn't safe for us to walk on, so we took pictures of the girls. little miss was excited to be out (as you can see).

i really want the snow to go away.

i'm still not feeling my best. parenting can really suck and i'm not enjoying having a "tween-er" in the house right now. a sista is stressed. so much so that today, i got a migraine and a pinching pain right in the middle of my chest. everytime i moved it got tighter. that's not cool at all. also, my back has really been giving me the blues. i've got pain and numbness going down into my legs and feet. i've had a problem with my back for at least 5 years, but it's gotten progressively worse in the last year. i'm getting an m.r.i. on friday. i can't wait because i really want to find out the source of my pain. i also realize i need to manage my stress, so i'm thinking about trying yoga.

i'm knitting. currently working on the baby cable rib (i love this stitch!) poncho from weekend knits. i recently bought some blue sky alpaca for a hat i'm going to give to a coworker. he has lung cancer and is undergoing chemo therapy. he is very open about what's he's going thru and has a very positive outlook about it. i overheard him tell another coworker his hair was starting to fall out. i figured he could use a hat since the days have been pretty cold. he's helped me a lot since i've started in the office and i'd like to show him my appreciation.

have a good week all.

i survived my first two days at my new job!

the new job is going well so far. i am familiar with a lot of the ppl i work with because i sent them plenty of emails while in my other position. now i get to put a face with a name. my boss is awesome (she's an old coworker). she's giving me the freedom to do things my way which is liberating and unsettling at the same time. it's unsettling because i've spent the last six years doing things the way someone else wanted and it will take some time for me to stop doing my previous routine. it's cool. i'm happy and excited about what's to come.

i have been feeling very unattractive lately. my hair isn't behaving, it looks like i've put on anutha 10 lbs.(arrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh!!!!!), and my face keeps breaking out (i've been battling adult acne(WTF!)since i was 26-but it's gotten really bad since december). sigh. a sista needs a make-over...a little pampering. i'm sure i'll wake up tomorrow and feel like the sexiest thing alive.

the sun has been shining so much lately. i want it to be spring right now.

ugh.

i am

most definitely overwhelmed at work. tomorrow is my last day and i still have a lot of work to do. i just started cleaning my area yesterday. i already know tomorrow will be a 'goof off' day simply because my coworkers are taking me to lunch and after that i will be between both offices moving my things. i can't wait to get settled.

man, the state of hiphop music today is really pitiful. i've known this for a while, but after not listening to the radio for a few months i thought i see what's been playing lately. why does the local radio station think it's appropriate to play a song that says, "i wanna hit that cat girl, hit that cat girl...i think i wanna lick that cat" during a time when young children can hear it?! i was like, 'awww hell nah, turn that mess off!" my daughter isn't surprised by my reaction cuz i'm constantly lecturing her about the lack of good music on the airwaves nowadays. i love hiphop, but conscious hiphop. hiphop, reggae, afrobeat, soul, and jazz are played in my house. well, i gotta add punk to the mix too cuz that's what babygirl is into now (lawd give me strength!). i think i might issue a complaint to the radio station.

have you seen the new interweave? this issue has made me want to start designing again. i'm going to treat myself to the caftan pullover and the sunrise circle jacket. it's been a long time since i made something for myself.

enjoy your day/evening.

enjoying the day

first let me say rest in peace jay dee. i believe he changed the face of music and will surely be missed.

this morning i woke up and the sun was shining thru my window. i love that the days are getting longer and they aren't so dark anymore. the girls and i are going to have lunch with a friend and then we may head downtown and check out the ice sculptures. i just want to get outside since the temps have warmed up drastically.

a sista is currently without internet service, so posts may be few and far between the next couple of weeks.

peace & blessings.

right now, it's all about

getting my new job!
reynolds lopi
smell goods from black phoenix alchemy lab
lil miss telling me about her day
back exercises (a sista has been in some serious pain)
breathing
loving me
essential oils
opening to spirit
frankincense rocks
singing as loud as i possibly can
khoret amen shampoo!
getting a new tattoo
staying warm
the artist's way
TOFU (i've made 10 different marinades in the last two weeks!)
isaac and project runway

making moves

i got the call today. a sista will be starting her new job in two weeks. i'm floating and i feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders.

moved

over the weekend i was channel surfing and landed on the sundance channel. a documentary about the life of john henrik clarke caught my attention. this man was phenomenal!!! i couldn't leave the tv because he was sharing so much information from african history, to malcolm x, to the million man march. i have to own this movie. my children need to watch this movie. you need to watch this movie! lol.

it's still really cold. funny thing is, the temps have gone up a few degrees so instead of it being -10, it's -5 and i'm standing in the cold thinking, "hmmm, it's warmer today." lol wtf is that?

anyway lil miss is recovering well. my day started off crazy. i drank some really good chamomile tea and found i had slept so hard that i didn't hear the alarm go off. i woke up feeling hung over. lil miss had an 8am appt with her dr. and we didn't get out of the house until 8. i'm wondering what was in that tea. maybe i just needed the rest?

i have been knitting. i made indeed (picture below) a scarf like the one i made for my bro. i used the colors of chocolate, tan, oregano (a nice green), and a kureyon w/ the colors tan/brown/cream/lavendar. it's really nice. i think i have enuff to make a hat too. all i want to make these days are scarves. big, soft, cozy scarves long enuff to wrap up in. i've been getting a lot of use out of my seed stitch rebecca sweater. i can wear short sleeves under it and the cold air doesn't get through. there's something about the seed stitch that provides a barrier of sorts. gotta use that stitch more often.

so...

...i had to reschedule the interview because lil miss came home with a fever last nite. i took her to the dr. this morn and found out she has a mild case of pneumonia in her left lung. that little girl has had a host of respiratory problems since she was six months old. while i, her mama cries at the thought of seeing her suffer, she's either laughing, singing, and sometimes dancing while i know she doesn't feel good. i don't know how she does it.

it's still cold, but i can't whine about it any longer. the folks in fairbanks (375 miles north from anchorage) currently has temps of -51 degrees.

i give thanks for my family, friends, and my bright eyed little girl.

um

i'm tired of being cold. i frozen to the marrow when i walk outside (it's in below zero temps right now) and i'm my hands, legs, and feet are frozen in the office. this shit sucks!!

btw-i got an interview lined up for that job tomorrow. i'm amped.

peace, love, and WARMTH!

sew easy

one of my goals for the year is to finally learn how to sew. i've had a sewing machine for almost three years and have only used it to sew linings into my purses. i've always dreamt of making my own clothes and now i'm going to do it. to help with this new endeavor, i bought sew easy. the packaging got my attention. it's like a box that opens like a book. one side holds the book and the other side holds 12 project cards. i'm going to make the tote bag and a pillow. that should be easy, right? i went to joann's yesterday and almost lost my mind picking out the fabrics and getting the tools i needed. i told the cashier that sewing could easily be my next obsession. it's bad enough i have my own mini yarn store in my house. i'll have to start making room for fabric now. :o)

i'm feeling quite optimistic these days. i'm reading opening to spirit again. this time around i'm seeing things i didn't see before. since i'm also on a mission to work through my fear issues, i have applied for a job where if i get it, i would be doing something completely different from what i am doing now AND i would be making more money. i was a nervous wreck all last week (the job closed on friday) and kept talking myself out of it, but i did it. i've got so many ppl rallying behind me too. it's kinda sad that my family, friends, and coworkers see so much in my abilities and i don't. it's definitely time to change all of that.

he's got flava...and then some

scarf_1, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

my brother asked for a scarf for christmas. since i am on a mission to reduce my stash, i went to my "wall of yarn" and pulled every color blue i could find. he sent me five wonderful pictures modeling the scarf. the fotos seemed to have sparked something inside of me.



i'm feeling crafty. how 'bout you?

weird habits

i was tagged by kelly. i'm not sure if these things are weird, but here it goes:

1. cold citrus fruits makes me moan-yes ladies and gentleman, butta.fly has major fruitgasms. i don't know what it is. oooh, and don't let the fruit be organic too. whew lawd! i'm sweatin just thinkin about it. i can't eat an ice cold orange at the office anymore.

2. rubbing my feet together makes me fall asleep-while lying on the couch watching the boob tube, i will rub my feet together...mostly because they're cold, but it's soothing for some reason and i always fall asleep. i recently found out my aunt does the same thing.

3. i like to eat pineapple out of the can-cold pineapple in a can doesn't have the same effect as fresh, cold, pineapple (see #1), but eating pineapple out of the can resembles a sort of rebellion for me since my moms always thought it was uncouthe (sp?) and always yelled at me when i did it. the first thing i did when i got my first apartment was grab a can of dole pineapple. lol.

4. i always dance while i'm cooking-think salma hayek in fool's rush in. i just gotta throw on some afrobeat or reggae and it's on! of course nowadays, adara is in the kitchen too and we both get our dance on.

5. ...gotta think on this. shoot!

me & indeed

me & indeed, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i am jonzin for d.c. i miss my friends. especially this guy. indeed always has a good word for me and he's a huge supporter of my works. i love him to death. i'm thankful the creator has put him in my life.

she amazes me

one night, my sister got the idea to fast from television for 40 days. this is what came from that.

happy new year. since my last post i have had more car issues and i had a birthday. 31. wow. i'm still trippin. i was completely excited to reach 30. i think my thirties will be a time of discovery in my life. a sista is still on a quest to find herself. more importantly though, to kill all the demons that linger in the back of my mind. i'm tired y'all. tired of being afraid. yeah los, if you're reading this....i'm still dealing. well, i guess i haven't been dealing...avoiding is more like it. anyway, i'm ready now...ready to reach my full potential. i said a prayer for guidance last nite. on my way to work this morning, the truck in front of me had a license plate that said PRAYW8. i smiled to myself was like, "alright".

peace.

a new scarf

blossom, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i treated myself to some of noro's blossom today. i've been secretly coveting it for a long time now and could not resist buying some during my lys end of year sale. i making this scarf with 2x2 ribbing...nothing too fancy.

danica

danica, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

here is danica waiting to be blocked.

i made this for my father and originally thought the colors would be a bit much for him, but he looked really pleased when he got it.

made w/ plymouth yarn's galway in navy, dark heathered denim, and heather red.

during my layover a the denver airport (going to dc), i saw dr. cornell west walk by. i really need to read his books.

i also came to the realization that i like taking the "red eye" flights because i am closer to the stars when i fly. it's the most beautiful sight ever.

i heart d.c.

i love d.c. so much that when i leave, sometimes i cry. it's crazy man because i feel like i'm torn between two places. i love alaska, but there is just something about d.c. could it be i feel at home there because my birthplace is near? i had so much fun. i saw a lot of my friends and made some new ones. i am always thankful for these trips because it gives me the opportunity to relax and get my thoughts together.

my spirit is renewed and a sista is happy.

happy holidays.

hooked
i am completely hooked on six word story group on flickr.

i'm headed to dc in 24 hrs. since my last post, i've managed to get sick AND the alternator went out in my truck. i'm doing my best to stay stress free (yeah right)and conserve as much energy as possible.

i'm alive. i have my ride, a roof over my head, and my kids are happy and free of illness. i'm grateful. i am.

i do have pictures to post. be on the lookout.
peace. love. blessings.

4 days until i get to hop on a plane. it's a 9 hr flight to the eastcoast (ewww maybe more than that). i'm usually excited to travel, but this time i'm not. there is so much to be done and not enuff time to do it all. the timing couldn't have been more perfect. flying during the holidays is something i have never experienced. my goal is to stay as stress free as possible by bringing lots of knitting, and trying to sleep whenever i can (i have trouble sleeping on planes).

i've got one final today and another on thursday. wish me luck.

have a great day!

my truck was found. in one piece. w/ everything in it. in my effin neighborhood. 3 blocks from my house.

that violated feeling i mentioned before has now set in. i'm angry and i don't feel safe man. i believed i would get it back though. so i'm thankful. i've been giving thanks to the most high all evening.

in knitting news...danica is looking awesome!! i'm using galway in navy, dark denim, and a heathered red. i have to make myself one when i'm finished.
i'm going to bed now. a sista is drained. goodnight.

it could happen to anyone

my truck was stolen today. i went out this morn to warm my truck up...started it and let it run for 15 minutes...unlocked...and someone jumped on the opportunity and drove off. sure, i shouldn't have left it unlocked, but the lock on the driver's side was broken. i don't think it's really settled in yet. i don't have that feeling of being violated, like i did when someone broke into my car a few years back and stole my knitting bag (i was hot!!). i don't know. i just pray my truck is found in one piece. it's crazy how shit happens.

it could be worse. i've been counting my blessings all day. i'm still able to smile. i found a pattern in the new knitty that has me excited to knit (i have to admit i haven't been excited about knitting lately). i decided to make my family members scarves for christmas. danica is going to my daddy. i was a little intimidated by the entrelac technique, but after making a couple of squares i'm relieved to find how easy it is. i'll post pictures of my progress.

miss adara

adara_2, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this child of mine is growing so fast. i love it, but i also hate it. we don't cuddle as much as we used to, but she does give me kisses whenever i ask and she always tells me how pretty i am.

summer storm

backyard, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i miss summer.

all i need is
a little sin on my neck
vanilla on my lips
khemit in my hair
and you in my arms
baby.

what should i eat for dinner? baked potato and yummy spinach or lentils w/ carrots and potatoes? potato and spinach only because it'll cook faster. *sigh*

about a month ago i embarked on the master cleanser diet. i did 4 1/2 days (of the 10)and lost 8lbs, got clearer skin, more energy, lost my addiction to sugar and caffeine (pepsi!!)and the best sleep ever. a sista was feeling the best ever. alas, today i fell off the wagon. 3 pepsis. 3. i've been wondering what triggers my pepsi binges...stress mostly. i gotta get back on the water. the fast helped me realize that i tend to eat out of boredom and comfort. i plan on bringing in the new year junk free. i will complete the full 10 days.

i haven't been knitting much because homework is consuming me. since i don't have much money around the holidays, i try and make my girfts. looks like that won't be happening. i should've gotten started two months ago. oh well, maybe i'll just make some cards.

the artist's way-have you read it?

reducing my yarn stash

redwaffle
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i've been making these scarves for a while now in attempts to reduce my yarn stash. so far it's working. 4 strands of various yarns knitted on size 35 needles. people freak when they see how big the needles are but they're really light and the knitting goes super fast. the scarves are thick, but not heavy feeling at all. they're very cozy.

my weekend was divine.

i went to see christa bell perform at a local poetry venue. this woman is amazing! it's been four years since i have written anything and after seeing this woman perform, i am in love with words again. so much so, that i went to her writer's workshop the next day. that proved to be therapeutic. we started with a 15 minute freewrite (i really love those) and then a 10 minute freewrite using prompts. the prompt i chose was "if i could, i would". from there i wrote this piece which is for my oldest daughter. i wasn't really thinking while writing it, but then we had to read it in front of everyone and why oh why did i break down and start ballin my eyes out into the third line. obviously, i've been holding on to some stuff subconsciously. i felt refreshed afterwards. hopeful even. i'm going to start writing again-poetry, short stories, etc. i think my writing strategies class is also fueling my desire to write. my professor has been really supportive.

the creator is working miracles in my life. i give thanks!

i've decided to use this lil ole blog for more than just knitting and crocheting. the title does say, "a day in the life of..."

peace and blessings.

so the felted skull scarf is not punk. babygirl gave the pattern a blank stare while i, her mama thought i had found gold! my feelings were hurt, but now i am able to work on some other things.

i'm going to d.c. next month and i want to be warm. i'm thinking about making a couple of scarves and hats for the trip.

i have pictures to share, but i can't find the usb cable for my camera. :o(

hello world.

i'm going to make this for babygirl (who is looking like a young woman nowadays - *sigh*). she is going to freak when she sees it. that scarf has "punk" written all over it.

it's been forever and a day since i last wrote on this joint, but a sista's been preoccupied. school has taken over my life in more ways than one. it kinda took me by surprised. i don't have much time to knit or crochet and i don't like that too much.

the days have gotten a lot shorter and it's hella cold. i decided while walking downtown in the cold (and wind!!) that i really needed a hat. i'm making one tonite.

peace to all.