10.16.2007

listening to: lay me down.will.i.am f. terry dexter

i think i'm going to bake salmon for dinner tonite. lil miss loooooves salmon. i haven't really cooked much of anything in the last couple of days and i'm starting to feel like crap. when i cook, i feel like i've gained some type of control over my life. does that sound weird?

i'm going to start the master cleanse on saturday. it'll be my second time doing it. i was amazed at the results the last time and think it's necessary for the changing of the seasons.
:::
i've been feeling a little down. can't help but feel like i'm not doing a good job parenting my children. especially my oldest. that girl is putting me through it and it's only the beginning. it really sucks that i never had the necessary support from her father or his family. now the shit is hittin' the fan i'm the only one trying to do something about it. *sigh*

lil miss tells me almost everyday that i'm a good mom (which is always after i give her a banana, or raisins, or surprise her w/ a fruit roll up lol). i'm doing the best i can do. i know that.

a friend told me once, that no matter what happens, i gotta have beautiful days. i keep that with me.

anyway, i try not to get too personal on this spot, but i had to let that out.

have a beautiful day y'all.

3 comments:

Nettie said...

I think all parents feel like you do sometimes, I certainly do. We will never be perfect, but I like to think that the fact that we are aware and always try hard is worth a lot.

TruEssence said...

I hope you feeling better now sis! You know we (moms) have those days were we are too hard of ourselves. Hang in there! Your oldest is just doing what teenagers do. Reflecting on how I was as a teenager thinking I was grown!:)

Sis you are holding it down on your own and from what I know about you through cyberspace you are doing a good job!
Much Respect!:D

kellz said...

hey fly butta...
keep doing ya' thang! it's lookin' good over here.

when tie permits, stop by my page and say hi!

hope all is well,
kellz