everyday i wonder how much more i can take. on most days i feel: suffocated, beat down, hopeless, tired, and unsure. but then i'll see two swallows playing with each other while in flight or hear my daughter's laugh and i feel better.

but really though. when will the financial struggle end? the next several months will prove to be difficult. i will be working my full-time job, going to school, and possibly be working a part-time job (in addition to being creative and selling my works?) now i realize there are single mamas out there doing that and then some, but i just wonder how? it seems impossible.

i'm learning to breathe. i'm taking deep breaths to help ease the panic. i'm praying. i give thanks and take time out to appreciate the things around me.

it's gonna get better. it just has to.