my eyes are tired.

it's already august. where has the summer gone? i've been reflecting on my summer and honestly, it's been lackluster and downright sad.

i've got this feeling inside of me. like i'm about to explode. ya ever have that feeling where you want something so badly, that you feel like you'll burst if it doesn't happen? that's how i feel, but i just don't know how to make that feeling manifest itself.

friday night i was cleaning out my closet and found over a 100 hats that i've made over the last few years. i also found two bags of unfinished projects that need to be put in my shop. i started an afghan with all of my scraps about a year ago. it was suppose to be a housewarming gift to myself for getting the apartment i'm currently living in. i never came close to finishing it and just threw it in a box. so i rediscovered that during my cleaning spree too. i've been working on it all weekend and it's been a nice change of pace. i just crochet until the yarn is gone and then i change colors/textures. some rows have 3-4 colors in them. working on it has been freeing...a brain dump even.

have a blessed monday. peace.

downward dog is my friend. it's been a while since i've done yoga and last night i decided to try some poses from the yoga journal. back pain has plagued me for years (the last couple of years being the worst). exercising has helped some, but i've read how yoga can alleve the pain altogether. anyway, downward dog stretches the hamstrings and calves. i realized last night that i need to get it together because my hamstrings and calves were so tight. no wonder my back is bothering me so much right now! have a blessed moon day.

time. it's so crucial to me right now. i'm currently working on some things to put in my shop. i'm starting to feel a little stressed because making the deadline is really imprtant to me. i would like to have the site up in september. one thing that's always plagued me was always feeling like i never have enough time to get things done. balance is key and i have yet to find that balance.

i recently bought jenny hart's stitch-it kit. embroidery is something i've been wanting to learn for a long time now. i've been actively working on a pattern for a couple of days now and it's been a long, painstaking process. i think i'm doing okay though.

i also bought the mason-dixon knitting book. i really like the book because it exhibits family and community. plus, i never thought in a million years i'd be excited to knit dishcloths. i'm trying to conserve my use of paper towels so the dishcloths will come in handy.

anyway, i'm doing my best to stay busy and keep a smile on my face. have a great weekend.

minnie ripperton's voice is sooooo sweet. it's a like a breath of fresh air.

my tummy's rumbling. why is it that if i eat breakfast before i go to work, i'm starvin' like marvin two hours later? that's what's going on now. i've been working on my morning routine this week...get up on time, do my morning pages, make breakfast, pack my lunch (i'm bringing lunch to work too), get me and the little one dressed, and head off to work. so far, so good.

i took lil miss to the forest fair and we had a great time. i ran into some vendors i had met last year that i was happy to see. one couple in particular is living their life the exact same way i've envisioned in my head. one thing i have to be better about is making contacts and keeping in touch with them. sharon (the wife) saw me and right away she was telling me how much she thought of me over the last year. thing is, i had been thinking of her as well. i believe ppl are brought into our lives for a reason, so i'll do my best to keep in touch with her this time around.

my sister is getting married next month. it's been hella stressful for everyone and i'm looking forward to the big day. the wedding will be at the space needle in seattle. i've been slacking on my exercise and diet routine (weight loss has plateaued sp?) so i'm back in the gym. my goal is to lose 10 lbs. before the big day. 2 lbs. a week...i can do that.

more later. bless.

all i can think about are cardigans, owning some fabulous furniture, and what i'm wearing this winter.

ribbed stole

ribbed stole, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this is how much i've done on the ribbed stole so far. i was getting a little discouraged at first because knitting 208 sts takes forever. it took me 5 hours to get 2 1/2 inches. anyway, i'm cruising along now and get to change to the next color (need one more inch- woohoo!).

it doesn't pay to oversleep in the mornings. i was 15 minutes late to an appointment and just a few minutes ago a coworker told me i was wearing two different earrings. one moonstone, the other lapis. lol. this is the second time i've done this. oh well, maybe i needed the energies of both today.

right now i'm doing my best to get my house organized. i'm in the middle of a major deep cleaning. apartment therapy is helping me do it.

the forest fair is this weekend and i'm going. this will be the first year that i've gone as a spectator. i decided in march that i would not have a booth this year. it was a hard decision to make, but once i did a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders. selling wares and managing a booth is hard work. a sista just wants to relax. anyway, i'm bringing lil miss and the trip will be a mini getaway. i can't wait to breathe the mountain air and see some old friends.

currently in love with the new danger. the block party has contributed to my current mos def marathon. i want to see and hear all things by this man.

i'm chuggin along on the ribbed stole. also working on some new hat designs. b-flywears is back in effect. i'm planning on a site relaunch in september. life is good.

blessings.

regia socks

regia socks, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

these are the socks going to cold bay, ak. i like them a lot. it's almost too hard to part with them.

adara's socks

adara's socks, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

adara's third bday

adara's third bday, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i should be sleeping, but i'm watching block party again and knitting. i can't stop until i have my foundation rows finished. what am i working on? the loop-d-loop ribbed stole.

i was checking out the craftster forum and found a thread with finished projects from teva durham's book. i have this book and love almost everything in it, but i realized i have a little problem. i never have the guts to try the more challenging knitting patterns. looking at the finished objects on craftster inspired me to give some of the patterns a try. i'm starting with the stole first because it's the only pattern in the book i have the right yarn for.

i guess i should go to bed. i bought a card reader for my camera, but my memory card doesn't fit. *sigh* back to the store i go. after i get some rest of course.

currently trying carrot juice. i'm not sure how i feel about it yet.

i fell off of my vegetarian diet for a minute, but i'm back on. planning to start the master cleanse aka lemonade diet next week. i'm going to go the full 10 days this time.

my herbs are growing beautifully, but i can't remember which herb is in the pots. dill is the only one i can identify. pictures soon (hopefully tonite!).

enjoy your day. peace.

[edit] carrot juice is alright with me. yum! [/edit]

i am dying to have some fun. like crazy insane can't stop smiling and laughing 'til my stomach hurts fun.

i bought dave chappelle's block party yesterday and have watched it three times since last evening. jill scott's performance brought me to tears...all three times. she's an amazing woman. i loved her performance of 'you got me' with erykah too. when i get home i'll watch it again!

love love.

since my last post i have recovered from the cold i had, but now i'm dealing with allergies. lil miss has gotten some kind of stomach virus and has been vomitting for two days. it's been fun in the edwards household. i've managed to clean up my house a little and knit a pair of socks (for the little one). i'm hoping she gets betta before tomorrow. it's her birthday and i would love for her to be able to eat some birthday cake. she's been talking about it all week.

my herbs are growing nicely in their pots. it's been rainy and a bit cold lately, but they're striving. i will eventually plant some flowers in the front of my house.

i've been finding a lot of sewing blogs lately. i am so inspired. i don't remember if i ever mentioned it here, but i've been wanting to sew so i bought sew easy. i completed the pillow project and was really pleased with how it came out. it took me five hours and i was stressed out during that time, but i'm thankful because now i know how my machine works. next time it won't take so long. i'm ready to make clothes for me and the little one now. the next thing i'm making is headbands. my locks are growing a lot and i can never find a scarf or headband when i need one.

i'm hoping to have some pictures posted soon (been having problems with my camera). blessings.

today is a good day. i realized every day is a good day. why? because i have life, my children and family are healthy (my daddy just had his 69th bday on sunday), and i have everything i need. that's right. my life is full of abundance and i've been too busy feeling sorry for myself to see it. i see it now.

currently nursing a cold. i found a grocery store in town that sells lemons for 69 cents. that may sound like a lot, but i've been paying 99 cents for years now. ginger root tea with raw honey and lemon has healed my throat (i almost couldn't speak yesterday). i'm taking loads of vitamin c too.

blessings.

last nite, i planted more seeds...parsley, cilantro, and dill. i know what i did wrong before. these babies will not die this time.

and while planting those seeds, i realized i really enjoy planting and playing in the earth.

more later.

the sun is shining...

...and the weather has been sweet. however, my weekend was hard emotionally. yesterday was really bad and i spent half of the day crying. my friends and i have been planning a double baby shower for a couple of our girls and it was supposed to be at my house (today), but i just wasn't up to having a bunch of folks in my house. after my meltdown, they all tried making me feel betta.

so that afternoon i met my girl neisha and we went to the saturday market. a lot folks bring their dogs to the market. so lil miss had a ball pointing every single one out. she had fun feeding her face too. i have to say that spending time in the sun and smiling at my child's sense of wonder made me feel a lot betta. i hooked up with my other friends later on that nite and ate the best meal. it's always nice to see my girls. everyone is so busy nowadays, so it's easy for me to feel disconnected and isolated. i've been trying not to isolate myself, but at the moment i kinda feel it's necessary. i just wanna be happy...feel good about me. ya know?

since i had a babyshower to go to, i had no gifts to give. so at 11pm last nite, i thought i could whip up some baby socks. man, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!! sure, i got a pair done in 3 hours, but after 1am my brain shut down. i always get too ambitious when it comes to gifting folks with handmade items. i never give myself enough time to make it and when i start i think i can do a hell of a lot more with the time i have (why did i think i could whip up 4 pairs of socks by 1am?) so i went to the shower with no gift. i have plenty of time now to get the gifts finished. both kids are due next month. i won't procrastinate any longer.

i'm currently on a mission to use up every skein of sock yarn i have. i think i have enough to make at least 20 pairs of socks. the socks i was working on last nite was made from fortissima colori socka color #2406. this yarn is fabulous! i found it to be really soft and easy on my fingers. i gotta have a pair of socks made from this yarn.

anyway, i'm trying hard to limit the time i spend on the internet so i can focus on house work (yuck!) and creating (which still isn't happening). it's slowly coming together. i hope everyone's weekend was filled with smiles and laughter.

more later.

dance of the infidel is beautiful.

witnessed

i overheard lil miss having a conversation with another girl last nite. it amazes me to see how much she's learned since being born. she will be turning three next month. i decided to have a party for her and all she can talk about is eating her birhtday cake. i'm grateful to have her as apart of our family. can i get her potty trained? that's a whole 'nutha blog post.

i'm currently on a mission to get rid of all the clutter in my house. i am also cleaning (like scrubbing floors type of clean) and reorganizing every closet and drawer. i've got a zillion magazines that i need to get rid of. what should i do with them? i thought about taking pictures i like and decoupaging a box or two. i don't know. i'm taking suggestions.

i know this blog has been lacking pictures, but i have been having problems with my camera lately. i'm not able to transfer pictures to my computer for some reason.

anyway i've come to the conclusion that i will have to get another job so i can get a handle on my debt. it's something i've been avoiding for a long time, but now it's a make or break situation now.

affirmation for today: i've got the skills to pay the bills!!

love. light.