since i'm surrounding my self with positivity, that means my thoughts and words must be positive as well.

it's hard. i'm struggling right now.

using affirmations too. today it's: i am making my life beautiful!


blessings.

i have decided to take a hiatus from tv this summer. there's just too much junk being aired. and since i've been in a creative slump and feeling a bit depressed, i figured taking a break from tv would help. plus, i'm surrounding myself with positivity....things that will fill me emotionally and spiritually. i've noticed my attitude has done a 180 since spending the weekend in the sun. it's been in the 70s and this sista is loving every minute of it.

currently reading maya angelou's autobiography (all four books). she's such an amazing woman. i'm inspired by her.

also reading the artist's way. i'm working on week 1 and i already want to close the book and never look at it again. one of the questions i'm working on is:
time travel: list three old enemies of your creative self-worth. please be as specific as possible. Your historic monsters are the building blocks of your core negative beliefs....

needless to say, i've been a little stuck.

my socks are coming along nicely. i've already chosen the person i'm giving them too. i'll make sure to take pictures of them before they head off to cold bay, alaska.

have you listened to gnarls barkley yet?

blessings.

appreciative

thank god for the sun. i'm at my parents' house watching lil miss help my dad plant flowers. i'm headed to the patio to sit on the glider and knit my sock in the sun.

it's a good day.

our deepest fear

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. we ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of god. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we were born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-marianne williamson (a return to love 1992)


i gotta read this book.

carl jung says...

"art is innate in the artist, like an instinct that seizes and makes a tool out of the human being. the thing in the final analysis that wills something in him is not he, the personal man, but the aim of the art."

this man's name has been popping up a lot in the last couple of weeks. the latest was in a magazine. think i need to research him and see what he's about.

i started knitting a sock today. i'm hoping this will trigger any ounce of creativity i have left in my body.

i have been wanting to post something, but so much has been going on in my personal life that i haven't been able to think straight.

i just know that i'm tired of being tired. getting up in the morning is such a chore. i would rather stay within the comfort of my bed, than to go out into the world. i'm fighting that feeling though. i'm doing my best not to become a hermit.

creatively, i'm stuck. i want so badly to get my business of the ground again, but i am not inspired to make anything. maybe i'm done and b-flywears is a thing of the past. and maybe this is a cue for me to try something different. i don't know.

i have been trying my hand at gardening. i'm growing some herbs and various flowers the kids picked out. and i'm reading too...a lot.

i gotta find some sort of peace. clarity. i'm so not focused right now and it's killing me.

oh i forgot to mention...through all of the mess, i have been going to the gym faithfully. i've lost 8 lbs. so far and my arms are getting toned (biceps baby!). it's been slow moving, but i am noticing a difference in my body.

more later...

lord, give me strength.

Easter 2006

Easter 2006, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

got gmail?

i have some gmail invites available...more than i know what to do with actually. if ya interested give me your e.mail addy and i'll send you one.

y'all i am on a mission to lose 75lbs. yep, ya read correctly...75lbs. when i tell ppl that, all i hear is "that's a lot" or "are you sure that's not too much?" well, it took me 8 years to put on all of this weight, so it's time to get rid of it. my health is on the line and i'm tired of looking at a closet full of clothes that don't fit (really cute clothes!). i re-joined the gym yesterday...got my sweat on today. it's most definitely on!!

babygirl is turning 13 on sunday. it's trippin me out man. lil miss is talking a mile a minute. she brings smiles to our face everyday.

check out twinkie chan. her crocheted scarves are bananas (lol!).

right now, it's all about:
my cypress hair oil
madvillian!
lil miss singing "orange moon"
downward facing dog
craisins
think and grow rich
warmer days
SUN!

i have spent the last five days in the middle of nowhere, amongst the deer, squirrels, cardinals, woodpeckers, and rabbits. breathing west virginian air did a sista good. my mind is clear and i feel at peace. lots of things have been going on in my life since my last post. the universe is basically hitting me over the head with a cast iron skillet and i'm finally ready to handle business and do what's best for me. this might sound vague, but just know i am well.

a day downtown

downtown5, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this picture was taken in downtown anchorage at town square. a friend of mine was visiting from new york and we thought it'd be cool to take our girls to see the ice sculptures. we got there and was disappointed because due to unseasonably warm weather, the sculptures had begun to melt and all of the snow on the walking paths had turned to ice. it wasn't safe for us to walk on, so we took pictures of the girls. little miss was excited to be out (as you can see).

i really want the snow to go away.

i'm still not feeling my best. parenting can really suck and i'm not enjoying having a "tween-er" in the house right now. a sista is stressed. so much so that today, i got a migraine and a pinching pain right in the middle of my chest. everytime i moved it got tighter. that's not cool at all. also, my back has really been giving me the blues. i've got pain and numbness going down into my legs and feet. i've had a problem with my back for at least 5 years, but it's gotten progressively worse in the last year. i'm getting an m.r.i. on friday. i can't wait because i really want to find out the source of my pain. i also realize i need to manage my stress, so i'm thinking about trying yoga.

i'm knitting. currently working on the baby cable rib (i love this stitch!) poncho from weekend knits. i recently bought some blue sky alpaca for a hat i'm going to give to a coworker. he has lung cancer and is undergoing chemo therapy. he is very open about what's he's going thru and has a very positive outlook about it. i overheard him tell another coworker his hair was starting to fall out. i figured he could use a hat since the days have been pretty cold. he's helped me a lot since i've started in the office and i'd like to show him my appreciation.

have a good week all.

i survived my first two days at my new job!

the new job is going well so far. i am familiar with a lot of the ppl i work with because i sent them plenty of emails while in my other position. now i get to put a face with a name. my boss is awesome (she's an old coworker). she's giving me the freedom to do things my way which is liberating and unsettling at the same time. it's unsettling because i've spent the last six years doing things the way someone else wanted and it will take some time for me to stop doing my previous routine. it's cool. i'm happy and excited about what's to come.

i have been feeling very unattractive lately. my hair isn't behaving, it looks like i've put on anutha 10 lbs.(arrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh!!!!!), and my face keeps breaking out (i've been battling adult acne(WTF!)since i was 26-but it's gotten really bad since december). sigh. a sista needs a make-over...a little pampering. i'm sure i'll wake up tomorrow and feel like the sexiest thing alive.

the sun has been shining so much lately. i want it to be spring right now.

ugh.

i am

most definitely overwhelmed at work. tomorrow is my last day and i still have a lot of work to do. i just started cleaning my area yesterday. i already know tomorrow will be a 'goof off' day simply because my coworkers are taking me to lunch and after that i will be between both offices moving my things. i can't wait to get settled.

man, the state of hiphop music today is really pitiful. i've known this for a while, but after not listening to the radio for a few months i thought i see what's been playing lately. why does the local radio station think it's appropriate to play a song that says, "i wanna hit that cat girl, hit that cat girl...i think i wanna lick that cat" during a time when young children can hear it?! i was like, 'awww hell nah, turn that mess off!" my daughter isn't surprised by my reaction cuz i'm constantly lecturing her about the lack of good music on the airwaves nowadays. i love hiphop, but conscious hiphop. hiphop, reggae, afrobeat, soul, and jazz are played in my house. well, i gotta add punk to the mix too cuz that's what babygirl is into now (lawd give me strength!). i think i might issue a complaint to the radio station.

have you seen the new interweave? this issue has made me want to start designing again. i'm going to treat myself to the caftan pullover and the sunrise circle jacket. it's been a long time since i made something for myself.

enjoy your day/evening.

enjoying the day

first let me say rest in peace jay dee. i believe he changed the face of music and will surely be missed.

this morning i woke up and the sun was shining thru my window. i love that the days are getting longer and they aren't so dark anymore. the girls and i are going to have lunch with a friend and then we may head downtown and check out the ice sculptures. i just want to get outside since the temps have warmed up drastically.

a sista is currently without internet service, so posts may be few and far between the next couple of weeks.

peace & blessings.

right now, it's all about

getting my new job!
reynolds lopi
smell goods from black phoenix alchemy lab
lil miss telling me about her day
back exercises (a sista has been in some serious pain)
breathing
loving me
essential oils
opening to spirit
frankincense rocks
singing as loud as i possibly can
khoret amen shampoo!
getting a new tattoo
staying warm
the artist's way
TOFU (i've made 10 different marinades in the last two weeks!)
isaac and project runway

making moves

i got the call today. a sista will be starting her new job in two weeks. i'm floating and i feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders.

moved

over the weekend i was channel surfing and landed on the sundance channel. a documentary about the life of john henrik clarke caught my attention. this man was phenomenal!!! i couldn't leave the tv because he was sharing so much information from african history, to malcolm x, to the million man march. i have to own this movie. my children need to watch this movie. you need to watch this movie! lol.

it's still really cold. funny thing is, the temps have gone up a few degrees so instead of it being -10, it's -5 and i'm standing in the cold thinking, "hmmm, it's warmer today." lol wtf is that?

anyway lil miss is recovering well. my day started off crazy. i drank some really good chamomile tea and found i had slept so hard that i didn't hear the alarm go off. i woke up feeling hung over. lil miss had an 8am appt with her dr. and we didn't get out of the house until 8. i'm wondering what was in that tea. maybe i just needed the rest?

i have been knitting. i made indeed (picture below) a scarf like the one i made for my bro. i used the colors of chocolate, tan, oregano (a nice green), and a kureyon w/ the colors tan/brown/cream/lavendar. it's really nice. i think i have enuff to make a hat too. all i want to make these days are scarves. big, soft, cozy scarves long enuff to wrap up in. i've been getting a lot of use out of my seed stitch rebecca sweater. i can wear short sleeves under it and the cold air doesn't get through. there's something about the seed stitch that provides a barrier of sorts. gotta use that stitch more often.

so...

...i had to reschedule the interview because lil miss came home with a fever last nite. i took her to the dr. this morn and found out she has a mild case of pneumonia in her left lung. that little girl has had a host of respiratory problems since she was six months old. while i, her mama cries at the thought of seeing her suffer, she's either laughing, singing, and sometimes dancing while i know she doesn't feel good. i don't know how she does it.

it's still cold, but i can't whine about it any longer. the folks in fairbanks (375 miles north from anchorage) currently has temps of -51 degrees.

i give thanks for my family, friends, and my bright eyed little girl.

um

i'm tired of being cold. i frozen to the marrow when i walk outside (it's in below zero temps right now) and i'm my hands, legs, and feet are frozen in the office. this shit sucks!!

btw-i got an interview lined up for that job tomorrow. i'm amped.

peace, love, and WARMTH!

sew easy

one of my goals for the year is to finally learn how to sew. i've had a sewing machine for almost three years and have only used it to sew linings into my purses. i've always dreamt of making my own clothes and now i'm going to do it. to help with this new endeavor, i bought sew easy. the packaging got my attention. it's like a box that opens like a book. one side holds the book and the other side holds 12 project cards. i'm going to make the tote bag and a pillow. that should be easy, right? i went to joann's yesterday and almost lost my mind picking out the fabrics and getting the tools i needed. i told the cashier that sewing could easily be my next obsession. it's bad enough i have my own mini yarn store in my house. i'll have to start making room for fabric now. :o)

i'm feeling quite optimistic these days. i'm reading opening to spirit again. this time around i'm seeing things i didn't see before. since i'm also on a mission to work through my fear issues, i have applied for a job where if i get it, i would be doing something completely different from what i am doing now AND i would be making more money. i was a nervous wreck all last week (the job closed on friday) and kept talking myself out of it, but i did it. i've got so many ppl rallying behind me too. it's kinda sad that my family, friends, and coworkers see so much in my abilities and i don't. it's definitely time to change all of that.

he's got flava...and then some

scarf_1, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

my brother asked for a scarf for christmas. since i am on a mission to reduce my stash, i went to my "wall of yarn" and pulled every color blue i could find. he sent me five wonderful pictures modeling the scarf. the fotos seemed to have sparked something inside of me.



i'm feeling crafty. how 'bout you?

weird habits

i was tagged by kelly. i'm not sure if these things are weird, but here it goes:

1. cold citrus fruits makes me moan-yes ladies and gentleman, butta.fly has major fruitgasms. i don't know what it is. oooh, and don't let the fruit be organic too. whew lawd! i'm sweatin just thinkin about it. i can't eat an ice cold orange at the office anymore.

2. rubbing my feet together makes me fall asleep-while lying on the couch watching the boob tube, i will rub my feet together...mostly because they're cold, but it's soothing for some reason and i always fall asleep. i recently found out my aunt does the same thing.

3. i like to eat pineapple out of the can-cold pineapple in a can doesn't have the same effect as fresh, cold, pineapple (see #1), but eating pineapple out of the can resembles a sort of rebellion for me since my moms always thought it was uncouthe (sp?) and always yelled at me when i did it. the first thing i did when i got my first apartment was grab a can of dole pineapple. lol.

4. i always dance while i'm cooking-think salma hayek in fool's rush in. i just gotta throw on some afrobeat or reggae and it's on! of course nowadays, adara is in the kitchen too and we both get our dance on.

5. ...gotta think on this. shoot!

me & indeed

me & indeed, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i am jonzin for d.c. i miss my friends. especially this guy. indeed always has a good word for me and he's a huge supporter of my works. i love him to death. i'm thankful the creator has put him in my life.

she amazes me

one night, my sister got the idea to fast from television for 40 days. this is what came from that.

happy new year. since my last post i have had more car issues and i had a birthday. 31. wow. i'm still trippin. i was completely excited to reach 30. i think my thirties will be a time of discovery in my life. a sista is still on a quest to find herself. more importantly though, to kill all the demons that linger in the back of my mind. i'm tired y'all. tired of being afraid. yeah los, if you're reading this....i'm still dealing. well, i guess i haven't been dealing...avoiding is more like it. anyway, i'm ready now...ready to reach my full potential. i said a prayer for guidance last nite. on my way to work this morning, the truck in front of me had a license plate that said PRAYW8. i smiled to myself was like, "alright".

peace.

a new scarf

blossom, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i treated myself to some of noro's blossom today. i've been secretly coveting it for a long time now and could not resist buying some during my lys end of year sale. i making this scarf with 2x2 ribbing...nothing too fancy.

danica

danica, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

here is danica waiting to be blocked.

i made this for my father and originally thought the colors would be a bit much for him, but he looked really pleased when he got it.

made w/ plymouth yarn's galway in navy, dark heathered denim, and heather red.

during my layover a the denver airport (going to dc), i saw dr. cornell west walk by. i really need to read his books.

i also came to the realization that i like taking the "red eye" flights because i am closer to the stars when i fly. it's the most beautiful sight ever.

i heart d.c.

i love d.c. so much that when i leave, sometimes i cry. it's crazy man because i feel like i'm torn between two places. i love alaska, but there is just something about d.c. could it be i feel at home there because my birthplace is near? i had so much fun. i saw a lot of my friends and made some new ones. i am always thankful for these trips because it gives me the opportunity to relax and get my thoughts together.

my spirit is renewed and a sista is happy.

happy holidays.

hooked
i am completely hooked on six word story group on flickr.

i'm headed to dc in 24 hrs. since my last post, i've managed to get sick AND the alternator went out in my truck. i'm doing my best to stay stress free (yeah right)and conserve as much energy as possible.

i'm alive. i have my ride, a roof over my head, and my kids are happy and free of illness. i'm grateful. i am.

i do have pictures to post. be on the lookout.
peace. love. blessings.

4 days until i get to hop on a plane. it's a 9 hr flight to the eastcoast (ewww maybe more than that). i'm usually excited to travel, but this time i'm not. there is so much to be done and not enuff time to do it all. the timing couldn't have been more perfect. flying during the holidays is something i have never experienced. my goal is to stay as stress free as possible by bringing lots of knitting, and trying to sleep whenever i can (i have trouble sleeping on planes).

i've got one final today and another on thursday. wish me luck.

have a great day!

my truck was found. in one piece. w/ everything in it. in my effin neighborhood. 3 blocks from my house.

that violated feeling i mentioned before has now set in. i'm angry and i don't feel safe man. i believed i would get it back though. so i'm thankful. i've been giving thanks to the most high all evening.

in knitting news...danica is looking awesome!! i'm using galway in navy, dark denim, and a heathered red. i have to make myself one when i'm finished.
i'm going to bed now. a sista is drained. goodnight.

it could happen to anyone

my truck was stolen today. i went out this morn to warm my truck up...started it and let it run for 15 minutes...unlocked...and someone jumped on the opportunity and drove off. sure, i shouldn't have left it unlocked, but the lock on the driver's side was broken. i don't think it's really settled in yet. i don't have that feeling of being violated, like i did when someone broke into my car a few years back and stole my knitting bag (i was hot!!). i don't know. i just pray my truck is found in one piece. it's crazy how shit happens.

it could be worse. i've been counting my blessings all day. i'm still able to smile. i found a pattern in the new knitty that has me excited to knit (i have to admit i haven't been excited about knitting lately). i decided to make my family members scarves for christmas. danica is going to my daddy. i was a little intimidated by the entrelac technique, but after making a couple of squares i'm relieved to find how easy it is. i'll post pictures of my progress.

miss adara

adara_2, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

this child of mine is growing so fast. i love it, but i also hate it. we don't cuddle as much as we used to, but she does give me kisses whenever i ask and she always tells me how pretty i am.

summer storm

backyard, originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i miss summer.

all i need is
a little sin on my neck
vanilla on my lips
khemit in my hair
and you in my arms
baby.

what should i eat for dinner? baked potato and yummy spinach or lentils w/ carrots and potatoes? potato and spinach only because it'll cook faster. *sigh*

about a month ago i embarked on the master cleanser diet. i did 4 1/2 days (of the 10)and lost 8lbs, got clearer skin, more energy, lost my addiction to sugar and caffeine (pepsi!!)and the best sleep ever. a sista was feeling the best ever. alas, today i fell off the wagon. 3 pepsis. 3. i've been wondering what triggers my pepsi binges...stress mostly. i gotta get back on the water. the fast helped me realize that i tend to eat out of boredom and comfort. i plan on bringing in the new year junk free. i will complete the full 10 days.

i haven't been knitting much because homework is consuming me. since i don't have much money around the holidays, i try and make my girfts. looks like that won't be happening. i should've gotten started two months ago. oh well, maybe i'll just make some cards.

the artist's way-have you read it?

reducing my yarn stash

redwaffle
Originally uploaded by butta.fly.

i've been making these scarves for a while now in attempts to reduce my yarn stash. so far it's working. 4 strands of various yarns knitted on size 35 needles. people freak when they see how big the needles are but they're really light and the knitting goes super fast. the scarves are thick, but not heavy feeling at all. they're very cozy.

my weekend was divine.

i went to see christa bell perform at a local poetry venue. this woman is amazing! it's been four years since i have written anything and after seeing this woman perform, i am in love with words again. so much so, that i went to her writer's workshop the next day. that proved to be therapeutic. we started with a 15 minute freewrite (i really love those) and then a 10 minute freewrite using prompts. the prompt i chose was "if i could, i would". from there i wrote this piece which is for my oldest daughter. i wasn't really thinking while writing it, but then we had to read it in front of everyone and why oh why did i break down and start ballin my eyes out into the third line. obviously, i've been holding on to some stuff subconsciously. i felt refreshed afterwards. hopeful even. i'm going to start writing again-poetry, short stories, etc. i think my writing strategies class is also fueling my desire to write. my professor has been really supportive.

the creator is working miracles in my life. i give thanks!

i've decided to use this lil ole blog for more than just knitting and crocheting. the title does say, "a day in the life of..."

peace and blessings.

so the felted skull scarf is not punk. babygirl gave the pattern a blank stare while i, her mama thought i had found gold! my feelings were hurt, but now i am able to work on some other things.

i'm going to d.c. next month and i want to be warm. i'm thinking about making a couple of scarves and hats for the trip.

i have pictures to share, but i can't find the usb cable for my camera. :o(

hello world.

i'm going to make this for babygirl (who is looking like a young woman nowadays - *sigh*). she is going to freak when she sees it. that scarf has "punk" written all over it.

it's been forever and a day since i last wrote on this joint, but a sista's been preoccupied. school has taken over my life in more ways than one. it kinda took me by surprised. i don't have much time to knit or crochet and i don't like that too much.

the days have gotten a lot shorter and it's hella cold. i decided while walking downtown in the cold (and wind!!) that i really needed a hat. i'm making one tonite.

peace to all.

the forest fair was lovely. however, i rained 80% of the time we were there (major downpour!). we all had a good time. we being me, my girls sarah and danielle, and last but not least babygirl. i was so proud of her. it was her first time seeing her mama in business mode and she was right there helping customers and making hats. now we all can't sit in a booth all day and not have a hook or knitting needles in our hands, now can we? the ppl were great this year (there were lots of nasty comments made by customers last year..."ooh, i can make that for a lot cheaper"-get my drift?). i got a lot of feedback, lots of biz cards were taken so i'm a happy camper. we met a lot of cool vendors. we got our trade on (that's the best part!!!). ate lots of good food ($5.75 strawberry shortcakes w/ banana topped w/ whip cream and caramel-it's worth money i swear!!!)

since returning from the forest fair, a sista has been extremely tired. it's like i was on a 4 day adrenaline rush and then suddenly crashed. it sucks, but what sucks more is wed-sun of last week i lost my voice and mon. i found out i've got a respiratory infection. it sounds worse than it is, but again, it SUCKS! i hate being sick and it seems within the last 4 years of my life i get sick more frequently (6-8 times a year). so i've been questioning my diet and lifestyle. i'm too young to feel the way i do.

in knitting news...currently making a cropped hooded sweater using stacy tahki charles' soho tweed (my favorite yarn at the moment!!). be on the lookout for pics.

peace.

question.

are leg warmers still in? (i really want to know)

4 days 'til the forest fair.
i've been busy making baby mitts.
since i last blogged, i've been living
life without tv, i've gotten a cold/flu bug,
and adara turned 2.

hope the day treats you well. peace.

time sure does fly. i'm still trying to get back into the blogging swing of things. check out some stuff i've been working on:


i call them honey and lola. i had bought a lot of noro's big kureyon to make a sweater with, but i couldn't get the pattern to work. so out of frustration i gave up and was left with 14 skeins. i got the idea to make bags with different stitches and play on different shapes and sizes. six are made so far and ppl have been really excited about them. i'm hoping they do well at the fair.

fair? fair you say? yes, i will have a booth at the girdwood forest fair. i look forward to the clean mountain air, great ppl, and awesome food/music. it's my little getaway from the "big" city.

look what i got recently:


a friend of mine is going away to graduate school and is getting rid of everything she can't take with her. SCORE!! i was so exicted. i'm still excited, but i don't have a clue on how to use it. it came with books, but reading it is like reading greek. i'm determined to figure it out. i will spin some yarn. i can't be a yarn fiend and not make the stuff too. *smile*

i'm having a really bad hair day. where's a scarf when i need one?

things are crazy. i'm ok. my kids are ok. i'm thankful for that. counting my blessings and giving thanks to the creator whenever possible. tulips have blossomed in front of my crib. it was a nice surpise since they weren't there when i moved in last august. waiting for the pansies now. i have a poem in my belly. i need to get it out. peace.

i am hooked on fear factor. i have been for a few months now. did you catch last nite's episode? homegirl ate leeches. effin leeches!!! that can't be safe. i don't think eatin worms are safe either. i'd be too afraid of getting some parasitic disease and wasting away to 30lbs. gross-napolean dynamite style!

i finished my fabulous rebecca sweater. it rained over the weekend and i was able to wear it out. it's great. when i wear it, i feel like it's an expensive designer piece - it's that fabulous. i gotta get someone to take a picture of me wearing it, cuz i don't think my d.i.m. (do-it-myself) photography skills will do it any justice.

my days consist of answering to "mom" every 2 seconds and asking, "do you have to tee tee?" ahh, the joys of potty training.

so, after spending a wonderful saturday afternoon with my girl d, i told her about my rebecca sweater that's been in my closet for the last three years. all it needs is a lil blocking, some sewing together, and a cowl neck. that's it. d told me i had to finish it and ya know, she's right. i rented that harold and kumar movie and sewed until my knees couldn't take anymore. i managed to get a sleeve and the shoulders seams done. i'm hoping to get started on the cowl this weekend.

I WANT:

to scream as loud as possibly can
my girls to be proud of me
to build sandcastles
to learn how to surf (been watching "step into liquid" a lot this week)
write a book
travel
plant a garden
to make soap and candles
to perform on stage
to run a marathon (hi monica)
learn capoeira

::: i'm having a moment....twiddling my thumbs until i can leave work, pick up the kids, and head home.

i had a crazy dream last nite. i don't remember much, but i awakened after my 21 month old asked, "mom, where's the lemon paste?".

headscarves made out of blue sky's cotton.

i like this yarn a lot. it's soft and gets softer as you work with it. i want to make a sweater with it or maybe a dress for lil miss.

life is funny. it presents you with one obstacle and as soon as you find your way around it, life presents you with another. my spirit is tired. surrounding myself with good people. i refuse to dwell inward.

currently making triangle head scarves and hemp bags. pictures to follow soon.

peace.

burt bee's beeswax lip balm.....i've been sleepin on this product.

wow. it's been a long time since i last blogged. a sista was goin thru some thangs and needed to step back and become invisible. during the madness, i still knit and crocheted. some lovely things were produced.

a lot has happened. i turned 30 in january. my oldest turned 12 and the little one has become this aggressive, very determined, little woman (she's been here before). i'm focused and driven (moreso now than any other time in my life). things are great.

peace.

babygirl told me she'd like some more knitting stuff for christmas. she's been on a roll lately making scarves (she's finally sticking to sumthin! thank u god!)

she wants to make the kitty hat out of the stitch n bitch book, but i think i'll surprise her w/ one.

found via meredith's blog: soul seams

funky stuff...

anna kula
curlie girl
loopiloop

some things...


recycled silk hat


neck down cardigan made w/ galway yarn



some scarves

i've been having fun playing w/ color and different textures of yarn. there's so many possibilities. i haven't spent much time on the computer lately. mainly becuz i decided to make betta use of my time. so i'm spending as much time w/ the kids as possible and making time to make and design some new things. my wrists are a lil strained from all of the knitting and from carrying my "heavy" baby.
i want to make some leg warmers and this hat.

my bed is calling me.

fall is here.

right now, it's all about: cables, felted mittens, scarves, and finishing wips that have been lyin around my apt.

i've been trying to finish up a sleeve to my neck down cardi. medusa is comin up and i planned on wearing the cardi to her show. the show is friday (halloween) and i'm wondering if i'll have it done in time. i've gotta block it and add buttons. i'll make it work.

not a whole lot has been going on otherwise. i will have some new pics up soon. happy monday.

adara joi

wow, it's been a while.

fall is definitely here. since having the baby, my body temp has been acting crazy. one minute i'm hot, the next i'm cold. i can't stand being cold, so i've been busy making myself sweaters. i've finished two so far and i've got three more to go. the kids will be getting some of their own sweaters as well.

has anyone made the long john pants in e. zimmerman's knitter's almanac? i'm tempted to take on that project. i am most definitely making some "overknees" (check out #38 in the current rebecca mag) bcuz i plan on wearing lots of long dresses/skirts w/ my clunky boots this winter (i'm backwards, i know).

well, i'm off to pick up the kids.

hello everyone! i've been spending the past month recovering from the c-section and loving my new babygirl. she's so great! i am a happy mama!

anyway, i've been knitting some. mostly finishing stuff that's been lying around my apt for months. there are two things in knitting however that are getting the best of me. gauge and blocking. ugh! let me say that again ugh! counting stitches in a gauge swatch confuses me. i'm always coming up w/ a different count. blocking...blocking anything that's knit in stockinette stitch gives me a headache. no matter what i do, the curl remains. oh knitting gurus of cyberspace, please give me guidance.

i hope everybody is feeling groovy and enjoyin their summer. peace.

i've been a busy bee (well, it feels that way at least). i've been really feeling the nine month pregnancy thang. i can't sit long or else i catch a cramp in my ass or my legs and back stiffen up. *frown* i'm not a happy camper right now. i really can't wait for this lil girl to get here. i'm scheduled for a c-section on the 24th. lawd knows i can't wait!

currently working to get all of my projects/orders outta my apt by monday. after monday i'll be outta commission. i'm hoping i'll be able to knit a lil sumthin while i'm in the hospital. i'll bring my bag just in case.

over the weekend, i finished the kureyon rambling rows sweater and i started the first sleeve on the crossover back sweater.

that's it for now. a walk is needed.

decisions, decisions

:::

mz jocelyn aka babygirl has a book that talks about "how to help the world" (as she says). after 10 minutes of looking @ this gem she decides she's going to give her books to needy children. anutha 10 minutes roll by and she comes out of her room w/ a stack of books. then she tells me she wants to make hats for ppl in shelters. i went to give her one of my 16in circulars and couldn't find any. i've got needles all over the place and i couldn't find one 16in circ. so during my daily lunchtime visit to the frenzy (lys), i bought her a couple of circular needles. that should put a big ole kool-aid smile on her face. can't wait to see the hats she creates.

the countdown has begun. 2 wks until i get to see my baby's face. i'm getting ancy.

i've been busy working on baby stuff. i've crocheted lil skullcaps (they're oh so cute!!), started a rambling rows sweater (almost done w/ that), and i'm halfway thru the crossover back joint. this lil girl is going to be so fly!

also workin on locqueen's fantabulous hat and a tank for my girl c. my long lost motivation has returned. it's on baby!

i got a lot of knitting done this weekend. i finished the left back of the crossover baby sweater. all that's left is the right back and sleeves. it's looking really cute. i may start the square neck cardigan next (in little badger's).

i finally started using up some of my cotton. i'm currently on a crochet kick. i'm making hats for myself in bright, summery colors. it's definitely time (most of my hats r too small). when i get done w/ the first one i will sew on my new b.fly wears label. i'm soooo sooo happy to have them. i'd post pics, but my computer has crashed on me again. looking to buy a new one.

after i left work yesterday, i realized i left my knitting bag in my office. i didn't bother going back for it, i just came home and started playing w/ some otha stuff. i pulled out a skein of noro's silk garden and casted on two stitches. from there, i increased twice every otha row. i figure this will be a shawl. like i said, i'm just playing. it'll probably end up having a bunch of different yarns and colors in it cuz i only have two skeins of the silk garden (which is yummy btw). i can't wait to see what this grows into.

look what the postman brought me...





earrings the fantabulous mz stefanie made for me. receiving these gifts really made my day. thank u so much!

been working on my neckdown cardigan and the crossover back baby sweater. just started on the purl bump heart (of the baby sweater). it looks so much betta since i changed needle sizes.

i haven't touched the baby afghan. i'm a little frustrated w/ it, not sure if the heart idea was a good one. i also gave up on my brother's socks. i really need to stop loading myself down w/ projects. would like to finish some b4 i start new ones.

i've been doing my best not to feel overwhelmed, but my mind has been moving 50mph thinkin about all the stuff that needs to be done b4 adara gets here. 5 more wks. it's flyin by. i've been feeling really pregnant lately. all i wanna do is sleep, and when i'm not sleeping, i'm cleaning (the nesting has begun). can't wait for my ribs to stop hurting. check out the load i'm carrying...

i'm not putting adara's name in the blanket. i broke out the graph paper and realized i didn't like the block letters i was creating. so now instead of her name, she's getting hearts in each corner of the blanket. i hope it comes out nice.

my neck down cardigan was lost for a lil while. i found it in a bag of yarn i had thrown in my closet. i swear i need to have a betta system of storing things. i noticed my favorite lime green cardigan has a few holes in the elbow, so now i'm motivated to get the neck down joint finished.

my ufo's will get finished....one of these days.

working on the border of the baby afghan. i plan on putting adara's name in it. can't decide between colorwork or purl bumps.

i have a confession to make. i am totally addicted to sock yarn. i don't know what it is about the stuff. i see new colorways and lose my mind. it's always, well most of the time, an impulse buy. i plan on making two pairs of socks w/in the next four weeks. b-day presents for my brother and miss lucille.

the baby afghan is almost done. it's so soft. i'm going to make hats and booties w/ the left over yarn (there's a lot of it). miss girl is going to b stylin.

once again, my 'puter is up and running. hopefully, it won't give me anymore problems. here's a pic of the eros scarf i made for my mama.



i talked to her today and she was really excited about wearing it. i made it because i thought it'd go w/ a lot of her blouses that she wears to work, but she thinks she should wear it w/ something dressy. i'm going to get a picture of her in it.



this scarf was made w/ st. tropez. i used size 17s for this baby and i was done w/ it in no time. there's a burgundy color i'd like to get next. i think this would make a really nice shell or some other summer top.

last but not least...


the rambling rows afghan - completed! this picture isn't the best, but it ended up being so huge i couldn't get the whole thing in the picture no matter what i did. this was really fun to work on and i can see myself making more. i'm getting close to finishing adara's. pictures of the baby stuff will soon come.

my site's back up. yay!

i left work early yesterday, went home and finished a couple of things. i'm slowly gettin back into crocheting. i started a crown for daddy-o and i started makin myself a bag to go w/ this slinky/sexy dress my girl bought me (as an after baby gift).

i'm starting to get real anxious about the birth of this lil girl. last week she was in my dreams, this week i'm dreaming about going into labor. the not knowing is really gettin me. i've been through this once before i shouldn't be trippin. lol.

anyway, i'm off to do some work. sending positive energy to the whale that's stranded in the turnagin arm.

for mama's day i decided to break out the eros and make my mama a scarf. now for weeks i would sit in the yarn store and watch woman after woman come in asking about this stuff (sandi was out @ the time). i sat there wondering what the big deal was. but then friday nite i started working w/ the stuff and immediately saw. it made this extremely light fabric. the yarn was very colorful and every color seemed to pick up the light. it's great! i'm going to buy some more. oh! mama loved her scarf. now i gotta make her an eyelash scarf. she's been waiting for one of those.

big needles rock!

i ordered some labels yesterday. woohoo! i can't wait to see them. i've been wanting simple, professional looking labels for a while now. thanx stefanie for posting that link.

i'm getting close to finishing the baby blanket and i started the crossover back sweater again. this time i will finish it. i get more and more excited about this baby with every day that passes. she's been in my dreams for a week now. gotta make her some socks/booties and i think a hat would b cool too.

"whatta day whatta day" - e. badu

feeling a lil stressed and overwhelmed. i've got a ton of work on my desk and it feels like i'm not making any progress. as soon as i get some done, more appears. i shouldn't b complaining 'bout it. there was a time (not so long ago) where i didn't have enuff work to do and that drove me real crazy. anyway, i'm taking a quick blog break.

the computer gods hate me. my damn computer broke down again (after getting it back a week after it was "fixed"). don't know what to do. i need my computer. can't run an online biz w/o one. *frown*

my boss absolutely loved her afghan. she wrapped up in it immediately. once i finished it, i found myself trying to find something else to do. i'll post pictures as soon as i get my computer back up. nakachi, i used plymouth yarn's encore. it's nice stuff. i'm currently making adara (the baby) one w/ sirdar's baby care. it's a lot smaller than the first so i'm zoomin thru it.

otha than working on the baby blanket, i'm not doing much. i started a kureyon sock (getting ready for next winter) and i'm in the middle of designing a tube top for my friend. it shouldn't b too hard, but i want to make sure it fits her in all the right places.

8 more weeks and adara will b here. this pregnancy has flown by. i'd like to find more summery knit patterns for her, but i'm not having much luck. maybe i should just focus on the upcoming winter.

have a good one everybody.

i'm still working on the afghan. my boss' last day is friday and i will have it finished by then. 2 more blocks to go.

i started a sock using 2 circular needles. i'm @ the gussett and i'm quite frustrated w/ it. i've put it down for the time being. it'd b nice if i could just knit sumthin w/o getting stuck. one day i guess.

i spoke w/ holly on sunday and she's inspired me to start crocheting again. i haven't been into it since my pregnancy began. guess i've been burned out. i'm going to pick up my hook this weekend (once this afghan is done) and make some hats. maybe some lil drawstring purses. i don't know. i've got tons of yarn to use up. if i get busy now, i'll have enuff inventory to do some of the fall bazaars. i'm going to miss the forest fair this year (it's too close around my due date).

the lopi sweater so far...


and the rambling rows afghan...


10 more blocks and a border. then i'll b done.

i can't wait to b done w/ this actually. it's been fun, but i'm ready to move on to sumthin else...like my baby knitting.

i'm cruisin along on the afghan. it's looking really nice. when i'm done, i'm going to start one for the baby using sirdar's babycare.

i started making a pair of socks using the two circular needle method. has anyone else tried this? do u find it to b a lot faster than using double points? i can't decide.

my computer is FINALLY fixed. i'm going to get it home and see what was erased. i hope i don't have to do much of anything, but in any case i'll b able to post pictures again. woohoo!

not a lot has been going on. every bit of my free time goes towards working on the rambling rows afghan. once i'm done w/ it, i can knit for the baby.

happy thursday everyone.

babygirl loved her present. when we came home yesterday, she instantly started picking patterns outta the book i bought her. she admitted to me later that she didn't like following patterns. so i told her to do what she felt. i bought the book mainly as a reference for her since she doesn't know how to purl or what binding off means. i think she's making coasters right now. :o) she finished a baby hat for lil miss. it was a hat that i started making and got bored w/. so she picked it up and finished it. she's very proud of herself and i'm proud of her too. whenever my damn computer gets fixed, i'll post pics.

currently making anutha scarf outta the saint tropez. this first one i made for my sister, this one is for mandara. also started a tam for him (aka daddy-o aka baby's father). he's worn his otha tams out and they look pitiful. i'm takin my time w/ it. it's a project to work on when i need a break from the rambling rows afghan.

have a great weekend everybody. i plan on knitting and getting some relaxation. i may even go buy some baby clothes. i went to old navy yesterday and almost lost my mind. their clothes r hellafied cheap and their cute beyond cuteness. my kind of store.

mmmm. takin a skittles break.

i said i wasn't ready to start anything new, but i'm changing my mind. @ the frenzy today, sandi was knitting a scarf w/ filatura di crosa's saint tropez. it looked like it was a lot of fun to knit w/. so i bought a ball of it and a pair of size 17 needles. i'm making a bday scarf for mandara in color 102 (the gold one). i figure it'll look really good w/ her dark complexion and she could rock it as a belt/sash thing. i can't wait to get started on it.

i finally got the kinks worked out of the asymetrical baby sweater. i should have that done tonite or tomorrow.

peace ppls.

i've been working diligently on the rambling rows afghan. april 25 is the deadline to get it finished. i'm on a mission.

not much else is going on. i've got a few hats to make and ideas for bags r floatin around my head, but i'm not quite ready to start anything new right now.

i cut my sweater last nite. i was so nervous, i gave myself a headache. it's finally done and i'm so proud of myself. currently workin on the button band.

the asymetrical baby sweater is giving me a lil heartache. y? bcuz my gauge is off and the sweater is a lil bigger than its supposed to b. i don't mind the size really. it just means lil miss will have more time to wear it. so i gotta rip out a few rows to bind off the sleeve stitches. once that's done, it'll b smooth sailing.

babygirl's bday is on the 9th. i've decided to buy her a "how to knit" book and some knitting do-dads. i may buy her some yarn too. i wasn't sure what i was going to get her @ first, but after seeing how interested she was in the stuff @ the yarn store, i figured knitting stuff would b the perfect gift. my baby's going to b 10 yrs old. kids grow so fast.

tonite is the last lopi class. the sweater is pretty much done. i still haven't sewn and cut the steeks. i will lata on this week. babygirl is comin to class w/ me. she should get a kick outta lookin @ all the yarn. she'll get a chance to work on her hat too.

i had a fabulous relaxing weekend. saturday was real nice. i left the house around 11am, went out w/ my moms for about an hour and was back home around 1pm. my apartment was lit up from all of the sun.

i'm back on my sock making kick. 8 balls of sock yarn was bought on friday. currently working on a pair for babygirl. i'm not buyin anymore yarn. i'm not. i gotta fight the urge to splurge. i do i do i do do do. lol.

i've discovered baby patterns on domestic sphere. woohoo! i'm in heaven i tell ya. bought some fabulous nubby yarn to make the asymetrical cardigan. i stayed up late working on it and so far, i have half the back done and both sleeves casted on.

i gotta get busy on the rambling rows afghan. my bosse's retirement party is apr. 29 and i only have 20 blocks done. i will finish it! i will! i will! i will!

okay, so i went to the bead and fiber arts festival and i was kinda sad to see it was more beads than fiber arts. i think i saw 3 booths that sold fiber related things. otha than that it was all beads. i was really looking forward to seeing some weaving and spinning demonstrations. oh well, i will keep praying that i meet someone that can show me how to spin.

i finished my shoulder warmer today and i'm still unsure about it. i think i just need to block it and add a drawstring. i also think my pregnant belly is throwing off the look of it. lol. i don't know. i'm going to keep working with it.

i also finished knitting the yoke on my lopi sweater. what's left is the sewing and cutting of the steeks, the button/hole bands, and sewing the bands on. i didn't realize how much work went into making these sweaters (well, the cardigans). i'm very proud of myself and i think this is the best work i've done so far.

fiber arts fair this weekend! woohoo!

i can b such a space cadet sometimes. i didn't buy all of my lopi yarn like i originally thought. so the last 3 skeins i needed were never in my home, but waiting for me in the yarn store's stock room. duh jackie! i checked the stock room 2 weeks ago and didn't see it, so that's when the panic set in. i'm so happy i get to finish my sweater now. last nite's class consisted of everybody watching one brave woman sew up her steeks and cut her sweater. cutting that puppy seems a lil stressful. our last class is in two weeks. i plan on having the yoke of my sweater done, steeks sewn, and sweater cut (w/ a lil supervision).

my poncho/capelet/shoulder warmer thingy is almost done. i was unsure about how it'd turn out, let alone fit but i'm feeling betta about it. i'd like to wear it this saturday nite...weather permitting.

next project...a halter/tube top thingy for my girl neisha. i think i may make one for myself and alter it a bit to allow room for my pregnant belly. i think it'd b cute.

i am once again amped up and excited about going into business for myself...found these women in this month's bust: make.

my weekend was cool. i got 5 blocks done on the rambling rows afghan. and i was able to start over on my poncho thingy w/o it twisting on me...again. my head is full of ideas. i'm excited man, real excited!

there's a bead and fiber arts fair comin up soon. weavers and spinners will b there. my prayers have been answered woohoo! i started making a poncho thingy and a hat and mitten set for babygirl. we've had a crazy windstorm blow thru the area and it's really cold. i think this is the coldest it's been all dang winter (still no snow). anyway, since she's 9 and loses absolutely everything, i decided to make her YET ANUTHA hat/mitten set. this one is tan and hot pink. the mittens will have a heart on them and pink thumbs. it's lookin really cute. i plan on knitting and crocheting a lot this weekend. i think it's too cold to go anywhere. happy friday.

i want to spin my own yarn. where do i start? gotta do some research.

pictures, yay!



one of the sleeves and part of the body for the lopi sweater i'm working on.



fortissima socks



my "mandara" hat made w/ ultralite.



fisherman's joint made w/ pom pom.

i've been looking @ the new issue of knitty for a couple of days now and i think i've made up my mind on what i want to make. the joseph jacket is absolutely adorable. i can see my lil miss and sakura (the camo baby sweater recipient) wearing this. sakura will get one.

i started fadimata's socks last nite. i got some work done on the lopi sweater as well. i gotta take pics. gotta take pics. gotta. take. pics.

the sun is shining w/ a blinding force. it's funny how easily u can forget about the sun's power when u spend several months in darkness. i lub the sun. absolutely love it.

so it's march. the days are getting a lot lighter (and sunnier..sp?) and the weather is a lil warmer. so y do i still want to knit w/ wool?

do u ever have those days where none of ur knitting projects turn out right? this weekend was like that. i successfully finished my noro hat. i showed my moms and she instantly started critiquing (sp?) it. "these stripes need to b lined up. u need to fix that and the pucker @ the top." *frown* i made the hat on straight needles and sewed it up using the mattress stitch. i don't care if the stripes aren't lined up. the hat is mine. i do agree however, that the pucker needs to b fixed. i just don't have to energy to pull that sucker apart to fix it. laziness? yes and i really don't care @ the moment.

my lopi sweater has become a disaster. while watching the roy jones fight on saturday, i spent 1 hour trying to figure out how to switch to my size 11 needle, cast on 5 stitches, and start the color work. it was hell and i was really frustrated w/ it. then once i started going on it, i got to the third row of my color work and realized i was short 2 stitches. fuck! i know that this can easily b fixed. but the pattern in itself is a lil confusing and i'll have to b in the right frame of mind to backtrack. it really does pay to count ur stitches beforehand. i always seem to forget that. class is tomorrow and we're supposed to have the whole body done. i'm not even going.

what else went wrong? my cute baby sweater has to ripped out once again. i had started shaping the neck b4 i got stuck. then i realized that the needles i was using were too big. thus making the sweater really big. i'm disgusted. damn those uk instructions. arggghhh! i feel like this will never get done.

i'm on a hat kick now. i bought some noro kureyon in 4 different color ways and have decided to make hats out of it all. honestly, justine bateman has inspired my hat making obsession. her hats are cute and look easy to make. i'm still on a mission to make a knitted hat i like absolutely love.

crocheted two hats last nite. the mate to my fortissima sock is almost done and i'm almost done w/ the front of the crossover sweater. my lopi sweater has me stumped @ the moment and i have until tuesday to get the body done. ha! i've got a lot of knitting to do.

i'm in the process of designing a cap sleeve babydoll top. my belly is absolutely huge (and getting bigger by the day...it seems) and i wanna make something really cute for myself. it'll probably b crocheted and i want to use brown sheep's cotton fleece. but where in the world do i start to do sumthin like this?

my mentor, bestest friend, 2nd mom fadimata has been in dc for a lil over a year now and she's still miserable. so i'm sending her a lil care package. one item i hope she loves is the scarf i made in berroco's nimbus. that stuff knits up fast. gotta get more of it.

the crossover sweater is coming along nicely. i've noticed that i feel more @ peace when i knit w/ size 2 needles. i don't know y that is. i'm really enjoying creating sumthin for my baby. i put every ounce of love i can into each stitch. when i finish the heart pattern, i'll take a pic.

OH! i finally finished the parallelo sweater. i'll take pics of that as soon as it's blocked and sewn together. yay for me!

i've been busy busy busy. currently taking a lopi sweater class. so far, i'm doing okay. i was a little leary about doing color work, but i'm getting the hang of it. both sleeves are done and i've started working on the body. i started making a cross over back sweater (in little badger) for my lil miss (the baby). it's so tiny. can't wait to see it finished. pics soon come.